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Soccer, rugby, the college gridiron and the NFL. It's all football to me. A couple of my teams got a little too full of themselves and the results were apparent, this weekend. We'll start off with them...

Those heads had better be hanging low in the locker room
Liverpool 0-0 Birmingham City. It's a result worthy of a bullet to the brain. Although, I'd say that, while we played poorly, the Porto result was great. But the Brums result is beyond unacceptable -- its nothing short of stultifying.

I'll say this for BC. They came within two horrific goalkeeper mistakes of drawing, possibly beating Chelsea in the season-opener. Fact is, however, that those horrific GK mistakes were made. There's too much quality in our side to not garner at least one goal versus these chumps.

Looking ahead to Reading, on Tuesday, I have absolutely no idea what to think. That's partially to do with it being in the Carling Cup, but let's be honest: We've looked well short, these last three matches, of the champion we fancy ourselves. The time for making excuses because of the international break ended after the Pompey match. Evidently, we thought too highly of ourselves after romping Derby. Hopefully, at the very least, this serves as a wakeup call to Rafa and the boys.

Let this be your warning
Hey, Springboks, I love you with all my heart (of course), I don't need these heart attacks against Tonga. I tell you what, though, it's not beyond the realm of possibility to see Tonga punk England out of the RWC in the group stage. That would be something special.

With respect to Donovan McNabb
Is there a more critized QB in the league than Rex Grossman? He's like a conundrum wrapped inside of a dilemma. I'm watching him, right now, against Dallas. I don't get how this guy is still in the league. And yet, there are the Bears, still major players in the NFL. Although, I guess people know that Grossman sucks, so McNabb's original point still stands.

Within this same Bears-Cowboys game, by the way, is Tony Romo: The QB most emblamatic of the "We love him because he's a nice white kid who's won a couple of regular season games."

See you on the lynx!
Better luck next year, St. Louis Rams. Regardless of whether or not it's only week three, toast is toast.

Tale of two halves, much???
The Giants comeback win over the Redskins, today, was awesome to watch. If I didn't know any better, the two teams literally traded uniforms at halftime. That sure didn't look like the same Giants defense that surrendered a combined 80 points in the first two weeks, but then again, they were playing an overrated (to this point) Redskins offense who hasn't exactly been shattering the lights on the scoreboard. I still need to be convinced by Jason Campbell & Co. As I see it, they're exactly where they should be, at 2-1, although I thought they would've won today and lost last Monday against Philly. So let's temper all that Redskins hype, okay people?

I tip my hat to you, Lane Kiffin
In dramatic fashion (naturally), the Raiders beefed their record to 2-1* by blocking Cleveland's game-winning field goal attempt. But Kiffin gets all the credit because he has demonstrated that he is learning how to bend the system to his will. Listen, if Rat Shanahan can call a timeout when the game-winning kick is up in the air and get away with it, and if the league isn't going to discourage teams from doing that, then f'ing A, we're going to do it, too! Also, I'd be remissed not to point this out: Daunte Culpepper relieves Josh McCown and the Raiders get the "W." Let's keep taking notes, Lane!

Brett Favre and the Pack are 3-0
Are you kidding me?!?

I point and laugh at you
Notre Dame. Haha!

I point and laugh at you while mockingly championing the special-ed kids that beat you
Louisville. Haha! But honestly, Louisville, Syracuse really is a power house. That was always going to be a tough game. Especially matching up against Jim Boeheim on the other sideline and trying to find a way to deal with Carmelo Anthony. You've never dealt with a small forward like that in ages. Tough match up. And you just know Gerry McNamara is going to be a bitch on the perimeter.

I point and laugh at your coaching hire
Let it be known: The Norv Turner era is alive and well in San Diego. Mediocrity rules!

I'm sending a dozen roses, a big box of chocolates, and planting a sloppy wet kiss on your mouth
Yes, I'm talking to you, Jacksonville Jaguars. Anyone who puts the Rat and Denver in their rightful places is aces with me.

Football, you wound me

I was so jaded from this weekend's results -- those results being Liverpool's listless, uninspired draw versus Portsmouth, U of A drawing a blue print on how to pathetically lose to inferior opposition at home, and the Raiders getting snaked by Rat Shanahan's timeout -- that I just couldn't bare to deal with the marquee Sunday nighter between the Chargers and Donaghys. I'll admit, it gave me a lot of satisfaction to see that New England routed the Chargers in the end (because it proves me right and continues to make San Diego look absolutely stupid for hiring an entirely new coaching staff headed by Norv Turner), but that bitter OT loss the Raiders suffered really was the last straw for me. Fortunately, football is a weekly sport, so I have until next weekend to recover from the vile taste in my mouth and sheer bitterness of it all. And then, like an addict, I'll drag myself back into the fray for even more irritation.

Words cannot describe my hatred of the Denver Broncos. I hate them so much. Rob Ryan's D and LaMont Jordan deserved a better result, today.

Some thoughts on the college and pro game...

- No one really thought Nebraska had a chance, did they? Really?

- Even though the Pac 10 went 7-3 as a conference on Saturday, the losses by Arizona, Washington, and especially UCLA are an unfortunate black eye for a conference that had such a strong showing just a week earlier. Once again, UCLA dons the title of "The Great Pretender." Seems the more things change, the more they stay the same. Washington at least put up a fight during the first half before being overrun by Ohio State's superior talent. Arizona's loss, as noted already, is just plain unforgivable.

- Speaking of pretenders (such as UCLA), I think it's pretty safe to put a fork in Louisville (who's defense literally is a wet paper bad) after a decent Kentucky finished what Middle Tennessee State started, Tennessee (who, although being on the road for both of their big games, has shown it isn't a first tier program this season), and TEXAS. While still unbeaten, there can hardly be a single, honest pollster out there who truly believes that the Longhorns, based on what we've seen on the field, are a top ten team this year. Save for one half of good football against TCU, they hardly look like a contender.

- Top five after week 3: 1) USC 2) LSU 3) Florida 4) Oklahoma 5) Cal. Sorry, West Virginia. I've got you rated seventh behind Penn State.

- The New Orleans Saints are clear frontrunners to be "that team," this season. You know what I'm talking about. That team. The one that has an amazing season the year before, gets all the pundits and analysts praising every step they take during the offseason -- all but handing them the Superbowl trophy by the time preseason rolls around -- then falls flat on it's face. There's one of these every year. Again, it wouldn't be the NFL if the same eight division winners made the playoffs year-in, year-out.

- Cleveland torching the Bengals' poor excuse for a defense sends two messages. 1) Naturally, never take any team for granted. 2) Brian Billick and the Ravens are really, really stupid. You wouldn't plow McGahee over the goal line with four tries to do it against that defense?!? Shmuck.

- Sure, the results are impressive, but how good are the Steelers really? They ripped the Browns and Bills, not exactly death row (unless you're the Bengals or lucky bastard Broncos -- just a whisker away from being 0-2 . ARGH! I HATE THEM!). I don't think I'm a fan of Pittsburgh's yellow helmets, either. Blah.

- The 49ers may be winning ugly, but the point is that they're winning. Impossible to be better than 2-0 at this juncture. Next week's game with Pittsburgh should be very interesting. And while the 49ers are sitting pretty, their victim today looks to be in a real nasty mess. Not only are the Rams 0-2, but they're 0-2 at home and 0-2 against NFC West opponents. Good night.

- Still decidely unimpressive: The Chicago Bears offense. Stinks. It's almost as if they plugged Marcus Colston in as their #1 receiver and thought things would be okay. Oh wait... wrong team. Still, Grossman & Co. look pretty miserable.

Barely even a slap on the wrist

If I'm Bill Beli-cheat, I'd consider myself very lucky, this morning. Let off the hook with merely a fine and the loss of one late first-round draft pick? I'm sorry, but for this offense, the given punishment doesn't even rate a slap on the wrist. More like a raised eye-brow and a shrug of the shoulders. Really? No suspension at all? I'm sure Tim Donaghy wishes he was an NFL official instead.

Few cheats are bigger than Beli-cheat (who claims to have misinterpreted the most black and white rule in the book), but O.J. is one of them. "No, listen, Officer, I swear I only needed that sports memorabilia so that I could lure the 'real killer' to a big autograph signing. It's my plan for justice, see?"

The loss of Greg Oden for the season doesn't just affect Portland (though they never had a prayer of going to the playoffs, this season, anyway), it affects the entire league. Profoundly. Personally, I've already lost steam with the Kevin Durant train and, frankly, half the fun of watching Durant, this coming season, was going to be comparing his progress to Oden's. The NBA just lost a major star and for a league that just endured it's lowest rated Finals since they ceased airing on tape delay, this is devastating. The weapons for sparking fan interest continue to diminish.

I'm not saying that playing in Nebraska isn't tough, but I don't think USC will have a problem covering the 10-point spread. I'm thinking 30-13 in favor of the Trojans. Arizona, on the other hand, is playing at home against a lousy New Mexico team and they will have trouble covering the spread. Willie Tuitama, you fill my heart with worry and doubt. Hanging 45 on NAU doesn't prove anything. Arizona 20 New Mexico 14.

If Michigan wins, this Saturday, it'll be business as usual. If Notre Dame wins this Saturday, Lloyd Carr will be executed on the field. Most likely by "Crazy Eyes" Mike Hart. I see the Wolverines at least surviving this one, though. As bad as their D is, Notre Dame's offense may be worse. Michigan 25 Notre Dame 17.

For so early in the season, there seem to be a ton of "locks" this Sunday. Cincy, Indy, Pittsburgh, New Orleans, Seattle, Jacksonville, Carolina, Dallas, Denver, and Chicago are all sure bets to win. All will cover, too, except for the Jaguars who still have an awful lot of explaining to do, after last week, and have an unreasonably big line of -11 (as of, right now).

Having dodged the bullet of any real repercussions from video-tape gate, the New England Tim Donaghys knock off a Chargers team that's flying across the country after getting physically beat-up by the Bears. It'll be close, but that Donaghy offense looks too impressive. Also, it's Norv Turner playing in a big game. 'Nuff said. Donaghys 27 Chargers 23.

Today, the Springboks will avenge their disaster against England in 2003 by mashing them in their Group A contest at the Rugby World Cup. The victory will all but guarantee the Boks a top seed in the quarterfinal round when, praise be, Schalk Burger will be back from his unjust suspension. South Africa are looking a good bet for at least the semis at this year's RWC.

Well look who decided to finally sign an effing contract

Before getting to the titular subject, a couple NFL bits.

1. Given all the allegations of cheating (not only against the Jets, but also last season versus Green Bay), the whole Brad Childress fiasco (non-story, that it is), the celebration at midfield in San Diego, Rodney Harrison's HGH suspension, the acquisition of Randy Moss, The Snowjob in 2001, etc, etc, etc... is there any reason not to think that the Patriots are scum?

2. How screwed up are the Cleveland Browns? More over, how out of his depth is Romeo Crennel? Sending Charlie Frye to Seattle for a mere 6th-round pick after just two and a half quarters of football, having annointed him the starter coming out of preseason (a decision which many generally consider to have a great deal of thought attached to it) might be the final straw. Crennel doesn't know what's going on. If you were this down on Frye, why suffer through playing him over Derek Anderson (and, yes, the not-quite-ready Brady Quinn), when all it took was one bad half of football to say, "You know what? I'm not comfortable having you on the team. Forget what I said minutes ago about you being the starter." Woof. The Browns are going to get mangled by Cincinnati on Sunday.

3. Speaking of the Bengals, they should consider themselves lucky to get the win, last night, for two reasons. 1) That was never an offensive pass interference on Todd Heap and the touchdown clearly should've stood. 2) The Ravens weren't smart enough to just let Willis McGahee barrell through the tackles from 1st and goal on the 1. That's just stupidity.

4. Thoughts go out to Kevin Everett, formerly of the Bills. A crystal clear reminder of how the word "priveledge" -- as in, "It's a priveledge to play in the NFL" -- is well overstated. Your life is on the line. Your well-being is on the line. All you get in return, tangibly, is money (and they, NFLers, deserve every penny they earn). That being said...

5. JaMarcus "$61 million" Russell is finally an Oakland Raider. $32 million in guaranteed money for a guy who might be able to contribute midway through next season. Forget being familiar with the playbook, this year. That ship has long since sailed. He's been on my s-list for a while, now, as I never agreed with the pick to begin with (I was far more in favor of trading down, selecting Calvin Johnson, and using the gained draft picks to help address other needs), but now... Now that Russell is the highest paid rookie in NFL history (and last I checked, rookies -- especially QBs -- were more likely to bust than to succeed), he's got a serious uphill battle to wage if he's going to gain my support. Not that he cares the slightest about that, and, hey, give the man credit for scoring a massive payday. But to me, it's an issue of principal. Far too many have brought the hammer down on the Raiders' organization and tyrannical Al Davis for failing to get this deal done back in July (and that criticism is well-warranted) without giving any grief to Russell's camp. This season is a waste as far as his development goes. So let me ask, how worthwhile will this guy turn out to be? I'm skeptical, to say the least. Now, let's start Daunte and see what happens.

We know these things to be true

Week 1 of the NFL is the scariest time for a gambler because so much is uncertain when a league dominated by parity begins anew. That being said, after the first Sunday of the season, some things were quite predictable. We know the following to be true:

- The Philadelphia Eagles are on a mission to have the most pathetic special teams unit in history. Shocking! The Packers had no business winning that game. But the Eagles gifted it to them, so now we're all going to be "treated" to yet another media slobberfest about how Brett Favre's "still got the magic." *barf*

- The Kansas City Chiefs really are that bad.

- The Raiders had 36 points hung on them, at home, against the Lions, and they were still more impressive than the Chiefs. (Feeling pretty great about that call)

- Given, it was Atlanta, but I'm feeling pretty damn confident about my Minnesota prediction. I'm telling you: Vikings in the playoffs.

- Surprising absolutely no one (except for the morons out there), Tom Brady and Randy Moss looked incredible yesterday. If Brady keeps getting protection like he did yesterday, you can give him the MVP, now. As for Randy Moss? Hey, you get better when you're not a Raider.

- Also surprising no one: Jets fans have no class. Booing a hobbling Chad Pennington as he walks off the field and cheering Kellen Clemens when he comes on? Quintessential New York. Disgusting.

- Jacksonville, no matter how talented they are, still can't figure out Tennessee.

- The fact that not every play is reviewable continues to be one of the stupidest things in sports. Consider yesterday when Tommie Harris of the Bears illegally entered the neutral zone, being well offside by the time the ball was snapped. Harris stripped the ball from Philip Rivers and the Bears gained possession, halting a Chargers drive that surely would've ended in a score. That crystal clear offside by Harris? NOT A REVIEWABLE PLAY! For as perfect as the NFL thinks it is, they still get a hell of a lot wrong. If you're going to champion instant replay (and by all means, go right ahead), then at least have the mental capacity to allow every possible rule violation to be reviewable. For the love... it's not asking too much. PS - Thank God that Roger Federer was winning a fourth straight US Open title on CBS, because the Bears-Chargers game was absolutely brutal to watch.

- I don't care how many times they're scheduled for prime time (7!), I still have no interest in the Cowboys. Yap all you want about Tony Romo putting 45 points on the Giants, their defense still surrendered 35 to one of the most unimpressive offensive units in the league.

Predictions for the weekend

- No matter what the reports are saying, JaMarcus Russell will remain unsigned by the Oakland Raiders. And it's all this senile crazy's fault!

- Despite issues with Russell, the Raiders will win (and cover) their season-opener at home against Detroit 16-12.

- In addition to Oakland winning, the Houston Texans, Minnesota Vikings, and Washington Redskins all start the season with Ws, too. (Granted, they're playing Kansas City, Atlanta, and Miami, respectively, but shut up) During the Vike's win, Adrian Peterson announces his candidacy for offensive rookie of the year in a big way.

- Roger Federer (do I even have to say that he'll grab the US Open on Sunday?) beats Novak Djokovic in a classic four-set final.

- Because Major League Baseball is HELL-BENT on finding a feel-good story to combat their dishonest image of cheaters and steroid-abusers, the reports of everyone's favorite "special retard" will be ignored. At least, for now, while he's still hitting homeruns.

- Arizona will score at least two touchdowns en route to beating Northern Arizona on Saturday night in Tucson. You might be thinking, "Hey, jerk, duh! Of course that's going to happen." To that, I would respond, "Did you see the BYU game?"

- I will miss this weekend's action from the Rugby World Cup, which kicks off tonight, because I don't get bloody Setanta and probably won't be getting up super-early to find a pub that does. However, South Africa (with a boost from Nelson) open with a victory over Samoa and the USA (Yes! They're in the RWC! Again! You'd never know, living in this country.) will get flogged by an underachieving England side.

- Jimmy Clausen will throw four interceptions and not finish the game, as Penn State beats Notre Dame by three touchdowns.

- No player in the NFL will have as bad a performance, during week 1, as Jason David of the Saints did, last night. Absolutely shocking.

- No NFL team will look as dominant and impressive, during week 1, as Peyton Manning and the Colts did, last night. Cripes, they looked in mid-season form. Frightening, really.

- No matter what the result, there'll be far too many rednecks at the Virginia Tech v LSU game. Tigers by a touchdown in what turns out to be a really boring game characterized more by mistakes than good defense. 17-10.

- Michigan squeaks out a late field goal to beat Oregon, but their defense continues to be decimated.

- Israel will shock the world and steal a 0-0 draw at Wembley, this weekend, during Euro 2008 qualifiers. Steve McLaren will come under fire, once again, for being an idiot.

- When I attend tomorrow's Galaxy game against the Colorado Rapids, the stadium will be half-empty because a) Beckham is out, and b) this is the worst team in MLS. Rapids 3 - 1 Galaxy.

Am I ready for some football?

Quite honestly, I'd have to say "no." It just doesn't quite feel right. Definitely not dealing with cool September weather and I'm pretty sure that traveling over Labor Day weekend has thrown off my mojo completely -- I don't know WHAT's going on.

But there were a couple great bits this past Saturday. Bravo to the Liverpool lads for putting on a clinic. However, it's important that we all remember that it was Derby County -- Derby County -- that we just hammered 6-0. That should be expected of any title-challenger. We have yet to enter the tricky part of our schedule (which happens in October), so until then, I'm content to be cautiously optimistic and nothing more.

Still... its hard not to feel confident these days, eh?

My god, and then there was March Madness in Ann Arbor. Still can't quite believe that one. Arizona's offense may have looked completely anemic and pathetic in the loss at Provo on Saturday, but at least we're not the laughing stock of the nation. I expected better from my Wildcats, though, and am a bit frustrated that our next game is Saturday against Norther Arizona -- a game that may have little bearing on what progress we've made since last season. Then again, better not treat NAU lightly. Just ask Michigan what happens...

So then, wait... if it is actually September and we've already had a week of college games... then that means... oh... dude...

NFL PREVIEW

Breaking it down by division and conference.

AFC EAST
1. New England Patriots - Consider it the easiest prediction of the season. If not for a dropped pass on 3rd down by Reche Caldwell, we'd be talking about New England's chances at repeating as champs. Now, they've got an incredible receiving corps which boasts what will undoubtedly be a reborn Randy Moss (he'll be good for 75 rec. and 9 TDs). Laurence Maroney is now the go-to-guy in the backfield and you just know that Tom Brady will be focused. Questions about personel in defense, but aren't there always? Never seems to have been a problem before. I'm not betting against the Patriots, this year.

2. New York Jets - Was Mangini's miracle of a season ago just a fluke? Well, the Jets will definitely be facing a tougher schedule, this season, which includes an away game to Baltimore, plus dealing with the tricky NFC East. Thomas Jones is definitely an upgrade for the offense, though. They'll be tough to beat every game.

3. Miami Dolphins - The defense is still good. The quarterback is untested and the coach is new, but the defense is still there. The win over the Bears, last season, showed that you can't take this group too lightly. But that offense... Hey, at least the Dolphins aren't the...

4. Buffalo Bills - We're looking at a candidate for worst record in the league, right here. Lots of rookies and 2nd-year players at key positions. A revamped offensive line, JP Losman still at QB, Marshawn Lynch didn't look terribly impressive during preseason. Paul Posluszny might be defensive rookie of the year, but that could be the only bright spot in Buffalo this season.

AFC CENTRAL
1. Baltimore Ravens - They're the class of this division. Neither Cincinnati or Pittsburgh has the consistency to catch the Ravens. They've got the killer defense, of course, and actually upgraded at running back with Willis McGahee (who pretty much rules). I don't see them needing as many Steve McNair rabbits-out-of-the-hat this season and I don't think it's insane to think that they might be the one team who can derail the Patriots, this season.

2. Cincinnati Bengals - One of these days, the Bengals are going to have a break-through. The offense is still nails, but the defense is, their achilles, is still full of questions. Certainly in the mix for a playoff spot in a crowded AFC, but can they win every week with shootouts?

3. Pittsburgh Steelers - It's a transition year as life post-Cowher begins. Big Ben Motorcycle figures to be steadier this season than he was during last, but the Steelers have 7-8 wins written all over them. Too many other good teams in the AFC for them to crack the playoffs.

4. Cleveland Browns - I think we see Brady Quinn get his first start earlier than expected. Like, in week 6. Romeo Crennell: welcome to "fired after this season."

AFC SOUTH
1. Indianapolis Colts - Duh. They continue to be a cut above the rest of the division, even with the key losses in defense and Tarik Glenn on the o-line.

2. Jacksonville Jaguars - How about that Byron Leftwich situation, huh? Man alive. But you figure that now that it's all settled and David Gerrard is the unquestioned #1, the Jags can finally start living up to their potential. The D is tough, the running game is there in spades with Taylor and Jones-Drew. They may not top the Colts in the standings, but they'll get close, perhaps just missing by a game.

3. Tennessee Titans - It's the Vince Young Show! Literally. There's no one else on this team. Like the tail half of last season, it's all on VY's shoulders to grab some Ws.

4. Houston Texans - I actually toyed with the idea of Houston finishing ahead of Tennessee, but... uh, it's Houston. Will be interesting to see if Matt Schaub is ready to be a #1 in this league (playing behind a putrid offensive line) and if Ahman Green is officially broken.

AFC WEST
1. San Diego Chargers - The reigning MVP, a rising star at QB, people love the Chargers. Here's one solid reason why expectations should be cooled: Norv Turner. Sure, SD will put up a ton of points, but I expect them to drop a couple more games than last year (say, 10-6) and, once again, bow out early in the postseason. Welcome to life with Norv, San Diego.

2. Denver Broncos - I hate them so much. They are a solid squad, though, filled with Pro Bowl talent. They'll give the Chargers a serious run.

3. Oakland Raiders - YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! YOU READ IT HERE, FIRST! THE OAKLAND RAIDERS WILL NOT FINISH IN THE CELLAR, THIS SEASON. HOW CAN I BELIEVE THAT? MYOPIA? BIAS? Well... possibly. BUT NOT REALLY! Three reasons why Oakland finishes ahead of the Chiefs: 1) That defense is stellar. 2) He may not be what he was a couple seasons ago, but Daunte Culpepper can help you put up points -- something the Raiders had no idea how to do a season ago. 3) Attitude change. Art Shell and the unconscious coaching staff are out. So is Randy Moss. What does it mean? Player morale is up, up, up! JUST WIN (3RD PLACE) BABY! Of course, word comes today that Josh McCown will start on Sunday, so who knows what'll happen. My guess is that every QB on the roster will get a shot.

4. Kansas City Chiefs - Hey, listen, I'm no dummy. I've seen Hard Knocks and I know as well as anyone that the Kansas City Chiefs are going to be a horrible team. Horrible. LJ better get used to seeing eight men in the box for 95% of each game because this team has nothing else to rely on. If you're a fantasty honk, you might want to consider trading him, as KC will be trailing big, more often than not, by the 4th quarter They need to rely on big plays from the defense if they're going to win any games, this year.

NFC EAST
1. Philadelphia Eagles - Not sure why, but I get the feeling that people are expecting the Eagles to fall flat on their faces. It's not going to happen. An elite force to be reckoned with in the NFC. McNabb is healthy and they've added stud linebacker Takeo Spikes. I like Philly a lot, this year.

2. Dallas Cowboys - Granted, I've got them finishing second in the division behind a good Eagles team, but I think Dallas is the most overrated, overhyped team coming into this season. It seems that the national media has completely forgotten that Wade Phillips is the coach, the defense has holes (especially with Terrence Newman's and Greg Ellis' health in question), and Terrell Owens is on the team and poised to erupt if his young QB doesn't get off to a great start.

3. New York Giants - Conversely, I think the Giants are a pretty underrated team. Tiki Barber is gone, yes, and while he did provide a giant (no pun intended) chunk of
the offense, the G-Men still have Brandon Jacobs. Strahan's back for one final hurrah. The question as always: is this the year that Eli becomes a leader?

4. Washington Redskins - Regarded by many as a wild card, the Skins are tricky to figure out. However, Jason Campbell doesn't inspire a lot of confidence. Where is all that Joe Gibbs magic from '87-'92?

NFC NORTH
1. Minnesota Vikings - Okay. Bare with me here. I know you're laughing. Hell, I'd be laughing, too, if I didn't think it could actually happen. But this, folks, this is that surprise pick that comes out of nowhere. That team that is completely off the radar over the summer and during preseason and then goes on to shock the league. Last year, they were called the New Orleans Saints. I'm sure you remember other incarnations, such as Kurt Warner's Superbowl-winning Rams. Fact: a team like this pops up every season. And why not the Vikes? Well, one reason why not. Tavaris Jackson has a lot to prove. But! If he limits his mistakes, this squad has a bolstered defense, a great o-line, and a double-barrelled backfield (like the Saints!) with Chester Taylor and Adrian Peterson that can cause problems for teams that will surely take them for granted. A quick look at the schedule has me thinking that the Vikes have a great shot at starting 4-0. Jumping off from there in a bad division, why not them? Damn right, sleeper pick.

2. Chicago Bears - The defending NFC champs (a tag that usually spells doom the following year) figure to have a more stable Rex Grossman, this season (one would hope). But if you're like me, you remember how weak the Bears' schedule was a season ago. Not the case this go around. Lovie's boys still have a lot of chinks in the armor.

3. Green Bay Packers - This is the squad that pundits like to take the division away from the Bears, but I disagree (obviously). Sure, the finish to last season was promising, but Brett Favre wasn't. The team surrounding him is still very young and largely unproven. If Driver is drawing double-teams, what's Favre to do?

4. Detroit Lions - It's just not happening, people. Not this year. Jon Kitna's prediction of ten wins will, however, come true. Just give it three seasons. By the way, Detroit to fall in Oakland this Sunday. Try recovering from that!

NFC SOUTH
1. New Orleans Saints - They take the division on account of two things. 1) Talent. 2) Process of elimination. Two concerns: 1)The defense has to prove that it's shed the habit of surrendering big, game-changing plays. 2) Not having Joe Horn raises issues about depth at wide receiver. Suddenly, opposing defenses might be able to double team a Saints weapon.

2. Carolina Panthers - This is a good team. This is a playoff-caliber team. This is a team that's going to be dealing with whispers of David Carr stepping in for Jake Delhomme all season long. But this is also a team that gets Dan Morgan back to anchor the defense and that may be the most important thing of all. Don't sleep on the Panthers, this seasons.

3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - I have a hard time justifying this one, but if everything played out just as it did last season... well, I couldn't think of anything more uncharacteristic for the NFL. Fact is, Tampa lost a few nail-biters last season and Jeff Garcia brings immediate leadership to the offense. Defense needs to come together, though.

4. Atlanta Falcons - You know that Joey Harrington, with one season less under his belt, has more TDs and passing yards and a higher completion percentage than that other guy? It's true! However, with that other guy, the Falcons had the number one rushing attack in the league. Now that he's gone, the offense looks a little less dynamic, even with Joe Horn coming into the fold. The defense lost star Patrick Kearney to Seattle. Tough situation for NFL-newbie Bobby Petrino to step into.

NFC WEST
1. Seattle Seahawks - The new home of Patrick Kearney will, once again, remain the home of the division crown. Although the NFC West figures to be more competitive than in the past, the Seahawks still possess more talent and are flying under the radar. I think Shaun Alexander gets back on track, this season.

2. San Francisco 49ers - From here on, the rest of the teams in this division are unknown quantities filled with speculation. The Niners, however, seem ready to take a step in the right direction. They're eveyone's sleeper, though, which means something is sure to falter. Still, I do love rookie Patrick Willis at linebacker.

3. St. Louis Rams - The Bengals of the NFC, if you ask me. Sure, Bulger can put up points and Steven Jackson and Torry Holt are elite players at their positions, but can the defense step up? The Rams have the ability to win any game on any given day, but it all comes down to the defense showing up with regularity.

4. Arizona Cardinals - Sorry. Still not buying it. Every summer, we hear that the Cards are breaking through. Not with this offensive line, they're not. Going to have to prove it, guys. We know they've got weapons on offense, though, and the defense is not to be taken lightly. They could finish second just as easily as they could finish last.

Wild Card Round
AFC:
Baltimore over Denver
Jacksonville over San Diego

NFC:
Carolina over Minnesota
Seattle over Chicago

Divisional Playoffs
AFC:
New England over Jacksonville
Baltimore over Indianapolis

NFC:
Philadelphia over Carolina
New Orleans over Seattle

Conference Championships
AFC: New England over Baltimore
NFC: Philadelphia over New Orleans

Superbowl
New England over Philadelphia

Quick! Get the Suicide Hotline on the phone!

Because it's 21-3 Pats in the 2nd quarter. It's only right that Peyton Manning have some sort of safety net after today's game. Still a lot of football to be played, but after that freakish first TD and the INT-return... it just feels like another one of those days for New England. Whether the rest of the country likes it or not.

Much like the Red Sox-Yankees feud, a rivalry isn't a rivalry until both teams have proven they can beat each other in the playoffs. You know, when it counts.

Hello, Apathy

Okay... so the Bears have just gone up 32-14 in the 4th quarter. It sure looks like this one is over and the Saints are going to fall short. With their impending exit, I'm now back to officially not giving a crap about who wins the Superbowl. Bears? Colts? Patriots? All are upsetting and deeply flawed in their own way. I never thought I'd be more apathetic about a Superbowl than last year's Pittsburgh/Seattle snoozer, but it's about to be topped.

Brees just intercepted. 4th turnover for the Saints, today. Wake me up when next season starts.

Conference Championship Sunday

Cutting it close before game time, but better late than never.

But first! Couple of tidbits from yesterday.

1. It just had to be that Liverpool FC beat Chelsea FC 2-0 at Anfield, what with the dark shadows and rumors swirling around "The Special One" Mourinho and the board at Chelski, not to mention the series of injuries they have on the backline. The bitterness of the double-Cup-blowout to the Gooners is now mostly washed out of my mouth, thanks to this strong showing by Stevie G and the boys. Walk on!

2. Went to the UCLA-Arizona game at Pauley Pavillion, yesterday. Sure, I was with three other UCLA fans and the homecourt really impacted the game as the fans were in it from the start, but it was nice to see a decent smattering of red and navy blue shirts peppered around the arena. Sadly, after Arizona took a 25-17 lead with about 5 minutes to play in the first half, that was about all that was nice for Arizona fans. The Bruins proceeded to go on a 13-0 run and never looked back. Afflalo ran rampant, Darren Collison was unguardable (And, oh by the way, there isn't a player in college basketball with quicks like him. Hello, NBA), Alfred Aboya was a rock down low, and, perhaps most impressive, UCLA controlled the game without Luc Richard M'Bah Moute. As for the Cats... aside from Radinovic, nothing doing. UCLA's defense was so good, so poised, that the Cats were relegated to taking off-balanced, bad shots from outside, or chucking up wild shots while blanketed in the post. Worse, when we did get open looks, as Chase Budinger did a few times, the baskets just weren't falling. Marcus Williams was less than impressive and Mustafa Shakur was nowhere! Senior leader? Not on Saturday. Sure, it was only a 4-point loss in the end, but it felt like 10.

What does Arizona do, now? 0-2 on the SoCal road trip is a harsh result and it's got UofA sitting in the background, now, of a crowded and potent Pac Ten. Washington has steadily worsened since the New Year (Washington State beat them by 28, yesterday), so the victory over them is looking less and less glowing. That said, Arizona has lost to WSU, Oregon, USC, and UCLA. That's 0-4 against the conference's best. That's, uh, not good. The plus side? Three of those teams still have to travel to Tucson.

Okay, now let's get to it. CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIPS

New Orleans (+2) at Chicago - Skeptics will tell you that this is a "bandwagon" pick. Those who apply logic to their picks will tell you that this is the smart bet. The positives for the Bears heading into this game: they're at home, superior special teams, and field conditions could get muddy. To me, that doesn't outway an erratic Rex Grossman and a weakend defensive line (since Tommie Harris went down) that has to contend with the human battering ram that is super-stud Deuce McAllister. Muddy conditions or not, the Saints have been playing superior football in recent weeks and have beaten quality opponents. The Bears beat two winning teams all season -- three if you include Seattle, last week. For the Saints, it's okay if they don't have Joe Horn available because with that spread offense, the Bears are going to be forced into single-coverage on just about every single play. Blitzing Drew Brees has proven futile for all opponents leading up to this one. I like the varied attack of the Saints, the confidence of Sean Payton, and the ability of the Saints' defense to cause two crucial Grossman turnovers. Marching to Miami... Saints 24 Bears 17

New England (+3) at Indianapolis - It's almost not fair. Here we are, again, with a Brady v Manning playoff game and all the pressure is once more on the latter. This time around, however, the Colts definitely have the better team. They clearly have superior talent on offense - particularly when matching up their WRs against New England's DBs - the defense has shown over the last few weeks that they know how to play with a lead, and Indy hasn't lost at home all season -- a big advantage, whereas New England was always the venue in playoff games of recent past. But with all the obvious advantages the Colts enjoy, the Patriots find themselves in a situation that virtually mirrors last week's game against the Chargers: No pressure. If anyone knows how to play within themselves and let the game come to them, it's the Pats. Belichick, I am sure, will have updated his gameplan since the regular season loss to Indy this season. It is important to remember, however, that the Chargers looked rattled, inefficient, and, at times, amateurish last week. They made turnovers and mistakes that they never would've made during the regular season and I strongly believe that a lot of that had to do with all the pressure, all the focus, being on them. So, does the choke-factor rear it's ugly head for Peyton & Co.? Here's how I look at it: John Elway won a Superbowl, Roy Williams won a National Championship, and both the Boston Red Sox and Chicago White Sox won the World Series. Thing is, they had to prove they could do it before it was expected of them. That is to say, Manning has the ability to win a Superbowl, but only he can make people believe that he ever will. Until then (which could possibly be later today), I'm betting the odds and going with the QB who plays big when it matters the most. Patriots 27 Colts 23

Some damn good football, this past weekend

Three good games and one impressive defensive showing from Indy. No one expected another Manning v Brady showdown in the playoffs and yet, strangely, it feels so right.

And the legacy of Marty Chokenheimer continues...

Actually, in all fairness, I'm not convinced that this loss to New England should really go against Marty outright. Yes, the Chargers were the favorite to win the Superbowl and sport two of the most dominant players in the game (the MVP and the cheating 'roid freak), but the Patriots weren't exactly a two-touchdown underdog. As a favorite, going up against Belichick and Brady in the playoffs quickly equalizes the playing field. The story of the game was turnovers. The Chargers were tops at retaining the football during the regular season, but Philip Rivers & co. had serious issues keeping possession yesterday. Give Brady an inch and he'll take a mile. I bet Reche Caldwell is feeling pretty damn good, this morning, after smoking his former team and knocking them out of the playoffs.

News Flash! Rex Grossman played a pretty solid game against Seattle! His lone interception wasn't even his fault. And yet in spite of that, the Bears have to feel incredibly lucky that they survived a mediocre Seahawks team, what with Shaun Alexander riding roughshot over them all game -- particularly in the 4th quarter. But in the end, it was Seattle's inability to take advantage of a handful of opportunities that could've won the game for them. Tommie Harris' absence was all too apparent and it looks like the Saints will be able to exploit Chicago's run defense at will.

Deuce McAllister, man. What a beast. Give the man his due, he was amazing on Saturday. The Eagles made it interesting and, still, no one knows why Andy Reid didn't decide to go for it on 4th and 15 when he just tried to go for it on 4th and 10. Look, if you're banking on your defense to get the ball back with barely a minute to play, why not bank on them from your own 39 after taking a crack at keeping possession, rather than punting the ball away only to see the clock run out on a series of kneels? Iggles fan be pissed, yo.

Colts v Ravens wasn't exactly exciting, but I have to say that Indy turned me around by way of their pimp-slapping dominance over Baltimore's offense. This one more so than Kansas City (whose gameplan was flawed from the first snap) caught my attention. I had the Ravens winning the Superbowl. Does this mean I need to go back to my preseason pick of New England? Maybe. But the Colts are rolling and, oh by the way, unbeaten at home this season. Should be a special game on Sunday.

Couple of non-NFL tidbit...

Absolutely gutting loss for the Wildcats last night. There was so much riding on this game and it really had to be considered a "must-win" because A) it was a conference game at home and B) Oregon is one of your two main threats for the Pac 10 title (Speaking of which, UCLA -- even without Josh Shipp -- was able to nick USC by one on Saturday. Yo!). Oregon was bolstered by the return of Malik Hairston and that squad at full strength is a scary proposition. This one hurts double due to the fact that Eugene is such a difficult place for road teams to pull a win out of -- something that must be done in the return game. Now 2-2 in their last four games, Arizona's metal will be put to the test this week when they're away to USC and UCLA. Pulling out even just one victory will keep them alive for the conference title. A sweep would put them back in pole position. Coming away with two defeats could be devastating and have us playing for 2nd or 3rd in the Pac 10.

The Australian Open is now underway. I should be able to watch a pretty fair amount of 2nd week action and am looking forward to seeing more of Federer. A possible rematch with Marco Baghdatis would be excellent, even if it's only half as good as last year's final. It'd be nice to see if Roddick can maintain his strong form from the US Open and is this finally the tournament where James Blake makes a statement? We shall see.

Finally, your David Beckham fix. Seems that Real Madrid president Ramon Calderon is upset with Beckham's choice to leave the club and backs coach Fabio Capello's position of not playing Becks for the rest of the season. That decision to bench Beckham for the year, made a day after Beckham signed with the Galaxy, it driven purely by spite. Yes, Capello had never been a fan of Beckham's to begin with and has only played him sparingly this season, but Capello has been at the forefront, ever since taking over the team, pushing for Beckham's departure from Real. Not to sound like an apologist, but I'm sure if Becks knew he'd never see game action for the rest of his current (set to expire on June 30th), he probably wouldn't have chosen to honor it. But my gripe, here, is with Calderon. He who has cycled through managing directors and coaches at Real Madrid like they were toilet papers. I believe six men have been in charge of the side since Beckham joined in 2003. You're telling me that Calderon has a beef with Beckham's loyalty?!? He's having a laugh.

Divisional round

If I had my druthers (and, uh, I suppose I do), I'd just carry on talking about David Beckham's decision to come to the US. One day later, I am utterly surprised at myself for still being so enthused about his imminent move. I'm not even a Beckham fan, per se, but the news is a great shot of life, particularly after the last few days had me feeling pretty negatively towards sports (specifically: anything involving college football and all Hall of Fame/Steroids talk in baseball). Anyway, seemingly an afterthought, now, the NFL playoffs continue this weekend. Let's preview, shall we?

Indianapolis at Baltimore (-4) - I give the Colts credit for beating a poorly game-coached Kansas City team who was unable to improvise on offense and suspect all season-long on defense. Now, they run into a buzzsaw with the Ravens. Baltimore's defense is arguably the best in the league and have all the tools necessary to pressure and fluster Peyton Manning. On offense, they're strong at running the ball (which will mean keeping Manning of the field) and McNair has the savvy and leadership skills that this team has been lacking in recent seasons. I said it a couple weeks back, but the Ravens are firmly my choice to win the Superbowl. That means, obviously, that the ride for Indy ends in the city they deserted 24 years ago. Ravens 24 Colts 16

Philadelphia at New Orleans (-5) - Perhaps the most devastating thing that could've happened to the Eagles, leading up to this game, was losing Lito Sheppard. Now, Drew Brees and his vast array of receivers face a depleted secondary mae up entirely of back-ups. It could get ugly. Unless! Jeff Garcia continues his fire-crotch hot play and, combined with Brian Westbrook, racks up a ton of points for Philly against what is not the most overwhelming defense. But the Saints have a couple things going for them aside from their scoring ability. 1) When these two met earlier in the season, Philly didn't get to Brees once. Not once. And now, with the personel on defense certainly not categorized as an upgrade since then, it's unlikely they'll get to Brees this game either. 2) This season more than ever before, I don't want to be playing the Saints at home for reasons that should be obvious to everyone. Philly is game on offense, but ultimately don't have the firepower to keep up. Saints 31 Eagles 22

Seattle at Chicago (-8.5) - Easily the most unattractive of the four games scheduled this weekend. Initially, I thought that if Seattle got this far, they may have a shot. But they probably don't. Even if Grossman stinks it up (likely), the Seahawks did little to inspire anyone, last week, when they back-doored their way past Dallas. The weather conditions will be too unfriendly, Hasselbeck looks off his game, and the Seattle D will have serious trouble stopping Chicago on the ground. I don't like either of these teams, but Chicago cruised through a terrible NFC. Seattle didn't. Also, there was that game (granted, it was week 3, but still) when the Bears polaxed Seattle on Sunday Night Football. Bears 20 Seahawks 10

New England (+5) at San Diego - Oh man... Oh man, oh man, oh man... This is going to be a great one. I'm deeply conflicted on who to pick. On the one hand, you've got the New England Patriots who have a coach/QB tandem that is made for the playoffs. On the other, there's the curse of Marty and Philip Rivers making his postseason debut. As the overwhelming Superbowl favorite, all the expectations are on San Diego. There's no pressure on New England. Bill Belichick is sure to have a gameplan that will frustrate Rivers and attack the Chargers secondary (perhaps the team's lone weak spot). This has all the makings of an upset. So why am I conflicted? Well, for starters, unlike the Jets, the Chargers can run the ball. Secondly, the Jets were made of grit, guts, and pure intestinal fortitude. They were a pure character team who grinded out the victories by sheer will, whereas the Chargers got this successful on the strength of unreal, elite talent and execution. Third, I mentioned this little phrase a few weeks back, but these aren't your older brother's Patriots. At times, they struggled mightily during the season against inferior opposition and often failed to impress. Is that a product of their standard being set so high or is there a serious discrepancy in talent between the Pats and teams like San Diego? Are they saving their best for January, waiting to flick a switch into playoff mode or are they no more than what they've appeared to be all season? It's a tough call. This is going to be a phenomenal game that the Patriots have every chance at winning, but at the end of the day: Rodney Harrison won't be available, LDT looks unstoppable, the Chargers are at home, and, while this would be a choke job for SD, Schottenheimer tends to save his best (worst) for conference championship games. Slimmest of margins, here. Chargers 27 Patriots 26

The highs and the lows

Lousy times, this weekend, if you were one of "my teams." Unless you're the Lakers! Couldn't have asked for two better games than the last pair. First, smashing Iverson and the so-called improved Nuggets (yes, I know Carmelo is still yet to return, but it's always fun to rag on A.I.) into oblivion while having five Lakers in double figures and none of them being Kobe. Absolutely brilliant performance, but it was last night's win over the uber-hot Mavericks that was clearly not just the best game of the weekend in the NBA, but in all of the sporting world! And what a result if you're a Lakers fan. Trailing for pretty much the entire second half, right until the end, getting hopelessly outrebounded, particularly on the offensive glass where Dallas made a living on second chance points, and then pulling it out while riding the shoulders of your superstar and the hot hand of (brace yourself for this one) Sasha Vujacic! Now, Sasha probably doesn't deserve that kind of stick because, in his defense, he has played pretty consistently this season and his step-up performance last night was well needed especially in the light of Brian Cook and Vlad Radmanovic having awful games. The key to this latest win streak for LA (going on four games, now), hasn't been Kobe necessarily, but the fact that the supporting cast have been able to step up and produce. Bynum has been white hot since Kwame went down (no surprise there, more minutes for the youngster=more confidence) and if it's not Cook nailing shots, it's Sasha or Mo Evans or Farmar's ability to find the open man or Turiaf's spark off the bench. Even short-handed, there is a legit team here. A legit team that just needs to shore up their defense before they can be considered serious contenders for the championship.

If the Lakers represent my ultimate highs for this weekend, then Liverpool's mauling AT ANFIELD (unstoppable at home, no more) at the hands of Arsenal, 3-1, in the FA Cup 3rd round was surely the lowest low. Got up early to head down to Ye Olde King's Head Pub for the match, too, and had the gross misfortune of sitting directly across from a bunch of Arsenal fans as sloppy defending and the Gunners' efficient counter-attack knocked the confused and unimaginative Cup holders out of the competition. John Arne Riise needs to spend at least one match on the bench, and no, tomorrow's Carling Cup versus Arsenal doesn't count. He's just horribly off form and largely at fault for the first goal conceded (a gem from Rosicky). I want a complete refund on Fabio Aurelio who is just a total liability as soon as he steps on the pitch. Steven Gerrard's presence was missing for extensive portions of the match and, if not for Dirk Kuyt, we probably wouldn't have created a single decent chance on goal. I'm shooting an icy stare in Rafa Benitez's direction, too, for 1) not putting Robbie Fowler on the subs bench when he knew that Bellamy was never going to be fit enough to play and 2) not understanding what so many physical teams in the Premiership understand so well: Arsenal are a finesse team that can be thrown off it's game if you play them physically. If anyone, it was the French Whiner's side that played physical/border-line dirty. For these reasons, I eagerly anticipate Lucas Neill's arrival at Anfield.

To the college hardwood, a flat out awesome game between Oregon and UCLA on Saturday morning. Just awesome. The last 30 seconds were of March Madness quality. Props to both schools. The Bruins are still easily a 1-seed in my eyes and Oregon showed a lot of metal, bouncing back from the let-down loss to USC two days earlier.

Disappointing: Arizona falling at the hands of Washington State with an opportunity to take sole possession of first place in the Pac Ten on the line. Granted, it was OT and it was in Pullman, but this was the first challenging away game (proper away game -- Louisville and Illinois were at neutral sites) for UofA since the season-opening three-point loss to Virginia. On the bright side, however, it definitely looks like the Wildcats will be able to chalk this up as a "quality loss" on the NCAA resume as Wazzu is looking more and more formative with each passing day. The Oregon schools come to Tucson this week. Ducks v Wildcats on Saturday. Giddy-up!

The NFL playoffs yielded four intriguing matchups for next weekend. That would be four out of a possible four! Each game has the potential for upset (more on that later this week). The sparkling highlight from Wild Card Weekend? Without question, it has to be the botched field goal attempt by Dallas that ended their season in the most spectacular fashion. If Big Tuna returns next season -- and I expect he will -- I cannot imagine T.O. returning to the team. We shall see. In the meantime, I wonder where all those bandwagon Cowboys fans are? Those fans who were touting Tony Romo as the next messiah, where are they?

Lastly, tonight is the game that makes every other bowl game completely irrelevant based sheerly on it's title: The National Championship game. Ohio State is a touchdown favorite. I'm sticking with my prediction from earlier of Buckeyes 36 Gators 22. I think Ohio State has to make a lot of mistakes and that the Florida offense -- the same Florida offense which the Gators got to the national title game in spite of -- has to execute flawlessly. It's not going to happen. Florida gets a couple of scores late to make it look respectable, but this one is never in doubt. Quite a year for Troy Smith.

Wild Card weekend

Lots going on this weekend. As I mentioned in the post prior, Pac 10 hoops will be a treat for the next two months. There's a great list of games tonight in the NBA including Allen Iverson's slumping Denver Nuggets visiting Mamba (one assist shy of a triple double last night) and the Lakers, Phoenix vs shockingly mediocre Miami (Shaq or not), and Dallas putting their 12-game winning streak up against the Spurs (I like San Antonio). Over across the pond, Liverpool host Arsenal in the third round of the FA Cup (yo!). I want that one in a bad way. But the big focus wil obviously be on the NFL, what with the uh, how you say, "playoffs" kicking off tomorrow.

But first! Less than a year later, Art Shell is back to where he started. The firing surprises no one, surely, but the big question now becomes "Who wants this most undesirable of head coaching positions?" Me? I'm a big fan of defensive coordinator Rob Ryan who was able to breathe life and a silver lining into an otherwise black, miserable season. The players know him, trust him, believe in him, and -- perhaps most importantly -- he's fresh head coaching blood. He's got pedigree, although I never thought much of Buddy Ryan as a head coach. But if Rob Ryan can motivate the offense the way he was able to get the defense to produce, this team is on the way up. Of course, after 2-14, there's nowhere to go but up. Also, he still has to deal with Al Davis and has the task of shipping off undesirables like Randy Moss and Jerry Porter before the attitude of the Raiders can be enlightened and their spirits raised. It behooves Oakland to make a hire before the draft. Their needs on offense are so many that drafting Brady freaking Quinn with the number one overall pick would be the equivalent of the little Dutch boy putting his finger in the dyke, then getting shot in the head. Trade down, pick up another high pick in the process, build with several pieces rather than gambling on a quarterback who never won a single big game in his college career.

Okay, now on to the games.

Kansas City (+6.5) at Indianapolis - There's a lot to be said of homefield advantage and certainly the Colts can speak to that. Indy is undefeated at home, this season. Additionally, if this year is any indication, the Colts always seem to play to the level of their competition. They get up for the games against tough teams. Now, that said, they're coming up against a Chiefs team that has the perfect recipe for knocking off Indy at home. It's called, "Larry Johnson pillages one of the worst run defenses ever." If KC can get an early score and keep Peyton Manning off the field (this requires limiting turnovers to a minimum), then we're looking at our Wild Card Weekend upset. There always seems to be at least one and the last two seasons, road teams are 6-2 on Wild Card Weekend. They probably won't have as much luck this go around, but the Chiefs are my horse to knock off a favorite. Before throwing out a final score, one gripe: Peyton Manning finishing third in MVP balloting. No, sir, I don't get it. Not that it matters at all, anyway, but are we suggesting that Manning winning another crappy AFC South division in spite of his defense or more praise-worthy than the resurrection performed by Steve McNair in
Baltimore? I don't think so. Chiefs 36 Colts 27

Dallas at Seattle (-3) - Neither team look terribly impressive at the moment. Each finished the season losing three of four. More red flags are raised on Dallas' side, however, as they've been giving up points by the truckload. They can't stop the run, they can't stop the pass, and playing from behind is decidedly NOT a strength of Tony Romo. Speaking of which, the "golden boy" seems to have been reading too many of his press clippings. Playing at home hasn't exactly meant as much to Seattle as it did last season, but it matters tomorrow. Also looks like Shaun Alexander is back on track. Seahawks needs to be weary of the pass, though. They're thin at CB and that could spell trouble, lining up against Mouth Owens. Seahawks commit less turnovers and Hasselbeck has more poise than his counterpart. That's the difference. Seahawks 28 Cowboys 22

New York Jets (+8.5) at New England - Holy cow, if you can get to Vegas, lay some money on the Jets. This line is waaaaaay too generous. The teams split during the regular season, but the edge goes to the Pats because they have Bill Belichick, Tom Brady, and are feeling pretty good about themselves coming into the playoffs. The loss of Rodney Harrison could be crucial, but their primary concern should be putting up points on offense. The Jets might be the story of the year -- a far bigger surprise than the Saints. They're in the playoffs on sheer guts and intestinal fortitude and the defense has been nails all season. Expect a war in the trenches with the experience and opportunism of the homefield Patriots winning out. Patriots 20 Jets 17

New York Giants (+6.5) at Philadelphia - Much like their two regular season games, this should be a good one. It's easy to pick Philly based on how much fun they've been having on this hot streak. They're playing their best football at the right time of the season, Jeff Garcia's got them inspired, they look loose and they're making big plays. But the Giants still have a lot of talent on their club and maybe... just maybe... the role of "left for dead" could suit them well. It'll come down to whether or not Eli Manning can make plays while trailing, because Philly rarely trails. So you say it's on Eli's shoulders? Eagles 26 Giants 21

NFL Week 17 Picks

Da... (sigh)... Raiders...
Oakland at N.Y. Jets (-13) - Finally, it's here! The merciful end to the most forgettable year in Oakland Raiders history. It takes a special group to be the worst at just about everything in the league. Bright spots this season: Kirk Morrison, Nnamdi Asomugha, Warren Sapp, Derrick Burgess (Pro Bowl), Ronald Curry, Shane Lechler. Everyone else? Well... you were terrible. Here's the sad truth about the Raiders: It doesn't matter if Art Shell is fired (because no one wants the job) or if Brady Quinn is taken with the #1 overall pick in the draft (because he's a decent QB who is the product of a media hype machine that wets themselves over anything that looks pretty and plays at Notre Dame -- quick, name a bg win in Quinn's college career!), the Raiders are doomed as an organization as long as Al Davis is micromanaging everything from upon high. It begins with him. You can lose Randy Moss for some draft picks, shore up the offensive line, whatever -- it won't matter. Davis is the problem and the proof is in the last few seasons since our last good coach, Jon Gruden, couldn't take it anymore.
Jets 31 Raiders 10

N.Y. Giants at Washington (+2.5) - You know, I just don't see it happening, Giants fans. It's going to take more than Kevin Gilbride taking over the play-calling on offense for the blue guys to win and salvage their season. I watched this offense roll over and die, last week. They've quit on the season. And hearing Antonio Pierce's comments today, I'd say the mood in the locker room is that even if they make the playoffs, they won't be proud to have done it at 8-8. So Gilbride will call the plays, but can Eli make them? Redskins 27 Giants 16

Seattle (+3.5) at Tampa Bay - Who are the Seattle Seahawks? This week, they look like a team that pushed San Diego to the limit, while putting forth just enough to get by the Yucs and head into the playoffs on a good note. Seahawks 24 Buccaneers 14

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati (-6) - One extra point. Even with that hideous October, the Bengals were one extra point away, last week, from controlling their destiny. They clobber the Steelers and then have a lot of time on their hands to figure out how to keep out of jail while watching the playoffs at home. Bengals 34 Steelers 17

New England at Tennessee (-3) - The Titans won't make the playoffs, but no one should be betting against the VY Express. Not after the last six weeks. I'm eating crow on this one. I was pretty adament the Young would flop in the NFL. He's made a believer out of me. Good for him. Patriots are pretty much locked into that 4-seed and they seem content with that. Titans 28 Patriots 21

St. Louis at MINNESOTA (+3) - Rams win close and ugly. That's about as much as I'd like to dote on this one. Rams need a ton of help that they're probably not going to get on a whacky Sunday. Rams 15 Vikings 13

Carolina at New Orleans (+2.5) - Carolina's m.o. this season has been that when there is something at stake or momentum looks to be in their favor, they blow it. Welcome to Sunday. Jake Delhomme, thanks for hurrying back. Panthers are the league's biggest underachievers. Saints 20 Panthers 18

Cleveland at HOUSTON (-4) - You're not going to watch this game, are you? Browns totally fell apart down the stretch. They at least played with some fire for the first eight weeks of the season. Houston in a laugher. Texans 28 Browns 6

Detroit (+12.5) at Dallas - Even if it is the Lions and Dallas is still gunning for a division title, no way in hell do you spot them double digits over anyone. Honeymoon's over for Romo & Co. and I think they might run into a buzzsaw next week. Cowboys 21 Lions 17

Jacksonville at Kansas City (-2) - A nail-biter of a game between two teams kicking themselves for blown opportunities throughout the season. Too bad for them that this game will be ultimately meaningless. Chiefs 24 Jaguars 20

Atlanta at PHILADELPHIA (-7.5) - Two teams headed in very polar opposite directions. There'll be a lot of changes in the ATL this offseason. Eagles 37 Falcons 17

Miami (+9) at Indianapolis - After the Patriots blow their game earlier in the day, the Colts will opt to rest their starters, realizing there is nothing to be gained in this one. Dolphins 25 Colts 17

Buffalo at Baltimore (-9) - Folks, I'm going on record: The Baltimore Ravens are going to win the Superbowl. Ravens 26 Bills 12

San Francisco (+10.5) at Denver - Stupid Broncos getting stupid lucky against the stupid Bengals... Grr... But just as they have in about every win this season, Denver does just enough to win. Broncos 18 49ers 13

Arizona at San Diego (-13.5) - Homefield advantage is still at stake and Kurt Warner is starting for the Cardinals. You do the math. Chargers 41 Cardinals 22

Green Bay (+2) at Chicago - Did you ever think in your wildest dreams that the Green Bay Packers and the absolutely atrocious Brett Favre (have you seen him at all this year???) would be in the playoffs? What does Chicago care about this one? Don't even try telling me that it matters to Chicago because they're "rivals." The Bears could give a crap and are content to rest starters for the 60 minutes. Packers in the playoffs... Madness. Packers 16 Bears 14

Jason Taylor is my new hero

Preach on, preacher man! Finally, someone in the NFL with the balls to point out how ludicrous and sick it is that Shawne Merriman's slap on the wrist for going out of his way to cheat is a trip to the Pro Bowl and a possible Defensive Player of the Year award. It's nice to see that selective morality within the teflon NFL isn't contagious. I've always liked Jason Taylor, but now it's official: he's one of my faves. The pride of Akron Zips football!

End of the year

Well, it's that time. 2006 is coming to a close and everyone is spewing out their precious lists. (Actually, here's an entertaining one.) So why not pile on, just a little? To me, the athlete of the year is Roger Federer. Without question. 92-5 record this year, 12 singles titles including three grand slams (and he says he dedicating himself to winning the French Open in '07, so watch out!). It has to be Roger, this year, and the two reasons he isn't dominating Tiger Woods and LaDanian Tomlinson for the honor are 1) he isn't American and 2) because he plays tennis. That's just poor, Associated Press.

There are several moments that stuck out for me in '06. Agassi retiring, George Mason beating UConn to advance to the Final Four (among history's greatest upsets), the arrival of Ovechkin and Crosby. But here are the three moments, in descending order, that made me lose my mind

3. Liverpool winning the most dramatic FA Cup -- perhaps ever -- over West Ham United. The comeback was largely thanks to English Player of the Year and now living legend, Steven Gerrard.

2. The Lakers weren't supposed to beat the Suns in the first round of the playoffs (and they didn't), but Kobe's winner at the buzzer in game 4 was one of those magical moments in Lakers lore and it had everyone believing that LA had a real shot of winning this thing (they were one rebound away in game 6 from doing so). Anyway, this shot had me screaming "Black Mamba!" and jumping around for a good five minutes straight.

1. His name is Fabio Grosso and he's my personal hero for 2006. The Italian fullback scored the decisive penalty kick that won the World Cup for Italy over France (I haven't been so mental in my life, I think), but he etched his name in glory the match before during the semifinal where, in the 128th minute (final two minutes of extra time), he famously broke German hearts. Everyone in the bar lost their minds. It was the best.

Some predictions for 2007

Orange Bowl - Louisville vs Wake Forest: Doesn't matter.
Fiesta Bowl - Oklahoma vs Boise State: Doesn't matter.
Rose Bowl - Michigan vs USC: Doesn't matter.
Sugar Bowl - LSU vs Notre Dame: Doesn't matter.

All of the above games are as relevant as the prestigious MPC Computers Bowl or the Papajohns.com Bowl. Maybe not as much as the prestigious Emerald Bowl, though.

BCS National Championship game - Ohio State vs Florida: Chris Leak throws not one, but TWO shovel pass interceptions in the first half, allowing the Buckeyes to set the pace early and coast to the 4th quarter where the Gators salvage some dignity, but fall short. Final score: Buckeyes 36 Gators 22

Allen Iverson and the Denver Nuggets will finish either 7th or 8th in the Western Conference, then get knocked out of the playoffs in five games.

Roger Federer will win all four Grand Slams.

The Colts will not reach the AFC Championship game.

The Bears will not win the Superbowl.

The Spurs will win the NBA title, beating Phoenix in the Western Conference Finals. The representative from the East will be swept by either team.

Sidney Crosby will win the Hart Trophy.

Florida will repeat as champions in college basketball and UCLA will repeat as runners-up!

Greg Oden will go #1 in the draft.

It doesn't matter who the Oakland Raiders select with the top pick in the NFL draft, they'll screw it up.

Daisuke Matsuzaka will have a relatively strong first half of the season before completely folding after the All Star break.

The Phoenix Coyotes will finish ahead of the Los Angeles Kings this season. I will get $10 from my dad.

The fans will screw up balloting for every All Star game. Again.

Terrell Owens will not be in Dallas next season.

If Barcelona doesn't win the Champions League, it'll be because they lost to Olympique Lyon.

The Pittsburgh Penguins will miraculously find a way to remain in Pittsburgh.

I still won't give a crap about Nascar or golf.

Your mom.

Xmas weekend craptacular

It's not really my thing, but these guys ruined Christmas weekend for the whole world (by "the whole world," I of course mean "me").

Dwyane Wade - Flash even had five blocks today, while Kobe stunk up the joint. (Sidenote: I just glanced at a post from a couple days ago where I said Arenas and Nash should be 1st-teamers if the season ended today. Clearly, I was high on pills and having a brainlapse. That should be: Kobe and Nash. I love Gilbert, though. He leads the 2nd team.)

Chelsea FC - Arjen Robben's (he of the girlish run) incredible last second winner at the JJB Stadium on Saturday robbed Wigan of a deserved draw. Plastic fans everywhere rejoiced.

Denver Broncos - Actually, the Cincinnati Bengals are more at fault, here, blowing that game-tying extra point. Now Denver is in pole position to wrap up the top wild card spot in the AFC. I don't like that.

Kick 'em out of the league: The New York football Giants. I haven't seen a more pathetic, gutless display since I the last time I watched the Raiders play. But seriously, everyone on the Giants offense should be fined $100,000 for jobbing it on Sunday against the Saints. This team doesn't even want to make the playoffs.

Furthermore, I propose that whichever team nabs the 6-seed in the NFC automatically forfeit their postseason. None of them deserve it. So sad you'll have to laugh: the Giants, Green Bay, Atlanta, Carolina, and St. Louis could all lose next weekend. Wow...

NFL Week 16 picks

Just want to address a couple things before taking on the second-to-last week of the most frustrating, irritating football season ever.

Firstly, regarding the futbol played across the pond, Liverpool have landed Lucas Neill for quite an agreeable price. At the very worst, the Aussie international whose dubious record for wreckless play has earned him many vocal critics, will provide cover at left back -- something this team sorely needs. Riise's defensive play has been wobbly all season long and I rate Neill ahead of Stephon Warnock and the anything-but-a-defender Fabio "the first crappy Brazilian player" Aurelio. Nice one, Reds.

Secondly, regarding Shawn Merriman's selection to the Pro Bowl: Shame on all of you. Especially those of you howling for Mark McGwire's blood after the baseball HOF nominees were announced. Merriman made a conscious decision to not only take BANNED performance enhancers, but aggressively sought them out. He gets slapped with a minor 4-game suspension and still gets to go to the Pro Bowl. Someone please explain to me how Merriman's offense is not patently WORSE than McGwire slamming andro before MLB listed it as a banned substance. Please, anyone. Speak up. But you're all so quick to vilify McGwire because he "dupped" you, even though he'd been mashing HRs by the truckload before any of this nonsense broke. So the justification for Merriman is... what? That he's a football player, so it's okay? We expect this kind of thing from him? Baseball has some sort of sanctity that doesn't relate to football? Absolute crap! You're all hypocrits of the worst kind. Hypocrits with a capital "H." And for the record, yes, I would absolutely vote Mark McGwire into the HOF because A) regardless of implication you are innocent until proven guilty, B) when he took andro suppliments, MLB didn't consider it as an offense, C) your only source of condemnation is freaking Jose Canseco. Get bent. Vote Big Mac in. Strip Merriman of the privelege of going to the most irrelevant of all the irrelevant all star games.

Now, let's get this season of mediocrity over with, shall we?

Da Raiders...

Kansas City at Oakland (+6.5) - Look, the Raiders suck. I know it, you certainly it, there's no disputing it. Getting waxed 20-0 at home against the freaking Rams just further solidifies it. If there's any last gasp of pride left in them (I'm taking the longshot and saying there still is), though, they'll show up to play against the rival Chiefs . Chiefs 24 Raiders 18

Minnesota at Green Bay (-3) - Tavaris Jackson makes his debut at QB vs the Pack. So while the defense he's facing isn't too rough, he still plays for Minnesota. Packers 27 Vikings 17

Washington at St. Louis (-2) - Playing out the schedule, nobody cares... Rams 31 Redskins 24

New Orleans (+3) at New York Giants - The G-men are proving too disfunctional to rest on their talent alone. Saints will get up for this after falling prey to the dreaded "letdown" against Washington last week. Saints 30 Giants 21

Tennessee (+4.5) at Buffalo - Come on ride the train... and ride it. Titans 23 Bills 20

Indianapolis at Houston (+9.5) - Well, I was wrong about the Monday night game. I admit that. But the Colts still play to the level of their competition. Colts 27 Texans 24

Baltimore (+3.5) at Pittsburgh - Might we see more Kyle Boller this week? Perhaps. But unless the field freezes over and Sidney Crosby takes the ice, Pittsburgh is going back below .500. Ravens 26 Steelers 14

Tampa Bay at Cleveland (-3) - Wow... Browns 12 Buccaneers 7

New England at Jacksonville (-3) Maybe? You just never know. Two prime examples of "good teams" slogging through mediocrity. The Pats lead their division by default and the Jags, as good as they are and with some of the wins they've notched this season, have some truly criminal losses. However, the home team gets up for big name opponents. Jaguars 21 Patriots 17

Carolina (+6) at Atlanta - The Falcons aren't good enough to win big, Chris Weinke or not. Falcons 18 Panthers 15

Arizona at San Francisco (-4) - Yep. Probably better off staying away from this one, too. But it'll be a shootout. 49ers 35 Cardinals 28

Chicago (-4.5) at Detroit - Stop me if you've heard this one before: easiest schedule in NFL history! The worst part is, given how pathetic the NFC is, it may not come back to bite them in the playoffs. Bears 31 Lions 10

Cincinnati (+3) at Denver - Broncos at home coming off a win. Cincy just got worked over by Indy. I should pick Denver, which is precisely why I'm taking Cincy. Bengals 25 Broncos 21

San Diego (-4.5) at Seattle - Man, I don't care if this in front of "the 12th man" (gimme a break), this line is way too low. SD still has homefield advantage throughout the playoffs to aim for. Chargers 37 Seahawks 17

Philadelphia (+7) at Dallas - After all that Philly fans have suffered through this year -- T.O., another Phillies disappointment, the Flyers getting blown out of the playoffs and then turning into crap, the Iverson debacle and the disarray is left with the Sixers -- you think there might be a Christmas miracle in store? Nope. It's karma for being such jerks as fans. I don't even think are the better team. Cowboys 24 Eagles 22

New York Jets (+2) at Miami - Yes, I'm taking the sturdy, hard-nosed Jets defense against hit-and-miss Joey Harrington. His present, this year, was getting out of Detroit. I think there are few with any reason who'd question him starting over Culpepper next season. Winning this one might be a little too much for him to accomplish without committing a handful of turnovers. Jets 19 Dolphins 16

Decidedly unimpressed

The NBA and the NFL, respectively, have a lot to own up to for the product put out this weekend. The former actually had a couple of standout, positive performances -- each coming from Laker games (Kobe's 53-point heroics in a double OT comeback from as much as 21 down in the 3rd quarter to beat Houston on Friday and last night's 60-point outburst from Gilbert Arenas staving off another impressive Lakers comeback in OT). But it's what is sandwiched in the middle that'll dominate headlines. It's almost as if the NBA gods woke up from a Rip Van Winkle-esque snooze only to realize that the Brawl in the Palace of Auburn Hills happened two years ago and thought, "Well, crap, that won't stand. Let's cancel out the brilliance of that Houston/Lakers game from Friday where our stars, Kobe and Yao, shined in the national spotlight and have another fiasco!" Add one of the faces of the league in Melo as the biggest offender from Saturday's scrap and... *drumroll*... image problems facing the league are not going anywhere. How Isiah Thomas is even still affiliated with the NBA is beyond me. He's been catastrophic in every single capacity since retiring as a player.

Then there's the NFL which has to be the most bland, unimpressive league for this sports calendar year. The Bears (weakest schedule ever) get pushed to OT against the Bucs, giving up 31 points to one of the worst offenses in the league, and the Saints lose to Washington? Forget it. I give up. I no longer care. And count me among those who think the Chargers will stumble along the way to the Superbowl. They clearly look like the best team, today, but Marty's on the sideline. And when the Bengals slap the Colts tonight, I'm demanding that half of Peyton Manning's sponsors back away (that'll still leave him with about 2,000 or so).

Thank the heavens for college basketball, although the supposed showdown this weekend between Wisconsin and Pittsburgh was anything but. And really, that shouldn't surprise anyone. Pitt hasn't played anyone of merit and have struggled in recent games against mediocre opponents. The Badgers are becoming more and more battle-tested and looking very much like the Final Four-caliber team I think they are. But back on Pitt, the Big East as a whole has been decidedly unimpressive thus far. Pitt got squashed in their first real test, UConn is benefitting from playing the 299th toughest schedule in the country (insert slow clap here), Georgetown is off to a rocky start, failing to approach anything resembling top ten billing, Syracuse still won't travel, Cincy's (lost to Wofford this season, by the way) torching against Ohio State is indicative of how far off the pace they are, beating Louisville carries less and less meaning with every passing game. Hell, for such a power conference, only Marquette looks like a true threat down the line.

As the Big East struggles, though, it's fantastic to see the Missouri Valley Conference steadily rise in quality to the point where, a couple seasons from now, it wouldn't be outrageous to call them a basketball "major." Six teams, including Wichita State, are real threats to become Gonzagas. Props to Butler, too, whose only loss so far is to Indiana State (MVC), who aren't even one of the six teams I'm referring to (Wichita State, Creighton, Northern Iowa, Southern Illinois, Bradley, Missouri State).

Know who is flying under the radar? Arizona Wildcats. I cannot wait for Memphis, this week.

Finally: Man or woman? No one knows!
It is not clear how she failed the test at the Asian Games in Doha.

Phenomenal, that is. Words fail.