Incoming message: WAKE UP!

Soccer, rugby, the college gridiron and the NFL. It's all football to me. A couple of my teams got a little too full of themselves and the results were apparent, this weekend. We'll start off with them...

Those heads had better be hanging low in the locker room
Liverpool 0-0 Birmingham City. It's a result worthy of a bullet to the brain. Although, I'd say that, while we played poorly, the Porto result was great. But the Brums result is beyond unacceptable -- its nothing short of stultifying.

I'll say this for BC. They came within two horrific goalkeeper mistakes of drawing, possibly beating Chelsea in the season-opener. Fact is, however, that those horrific GK mistakes were made. There's too much quality in our side to not garner at least one goal versus these chumps.

Looking ahead to Reading, on Tuesday, I have absolutely no idea what to think. That's partially to do with it being in the Carling Cup, but let's be honest: We've looked well short, these last three matches, of the champion we fancy ourselves. The time for making excuses because of the international break ended after the Pompey match. Evidently, we thought too highly of ourselves after romping Derby. Hopefully, at the very least, this serves as a wakeup call to Rafa and the boys.

Let this be your warning
Hey, Springboks, I love you with all my heart (of course), I don't need these heart attacks against Tonga. I tell you what, though, it's not beyond the realm of possibility to see Tonga punk England out of the RWC in the group stage. That would be something special.

With respect to Donovan McNabb
Is there a more critized QB in the league than Rex Grossman? He's like a conundrum wrapped inside of a dilemma. I'm watching him, right now, against Dallas. I don't get how this guy is still in the league. And yet, there are the Bears, still major players in the NFL. Although, I guess people know that Grossman sucks, so McNabb's original point still stands.

Within this same Bears-Cowboys game, by the way, is Tony Romo: The QB most emblamatic of the "We love him because he's a nice white kid who's won a couple of regular season games."

See you on the lynx!
Better luck next year, St. Louis Rams. Regardless of whether or not it's only week three, toast is toast.

Tale of two halves, much???
The Giants comeback win over the Redskins, today, was awesome to watch. If I didn't know any better, the two teams literally traded uniforms at halftime. That sure didn't look like the same Giants defense that surrendered a combined 80 points in the first two weeks, but then again, they were playing an overrated (to this point) Redskins offense who hasn't exactly been shattering the lights on the scoreboard. I still need to be convinced by Jason Campbell & Co. As I see it, they're exactly where they should be, at 2-1, although I thought they would've won today and lost last Monday against Philly. So let's temper all that Redskins hype, okay people?

I tip my hat to you, Lane Kiffin
In dramatic fashion (naturally), the Raiders beefed their record to 2-1* by blocking Cleveland's game-winning field goal attempt. But Kiffin gets all the credit because he has demonstrated that he is learning how to bend the system to his will. Listen, if Rat Shanahan can call a timeout when the game-winning kick is up in the air and get away with it, and if the league isn't going to discourage teams from doing that, then f'ing A, we're going to do it, too! Also, I'd be remissed not to point this out: Daunte Culpepper relieves Josh McCown and the Raiders get the "W." Let's keep taking notes, Lane!

Brett Favre and the Pack are 3-0
Are you kidding me?!?

I point and laugh at you
Notre Dame. Haha!

I point and laugh at you while mockingly championing the special-ed kids that beat you
Louisville. Haha! But honestly, Louisville, Syracuse really is a power house. That was always going to be a tough game. Especially matching up against Jim Boeheim on the other sideline and trying to find a way to deal with Carmelo Anthony. You've never dealt with a small forward like that in ages. Tough match up. And you just know Gerry McNamara is going to be a bitch on the perimeter.

I point and laugh at your coaching hire
Let it be known: The Norv Turner era is alive and well in San Diego. Mediocrity rules!

I'm sending a dozen roses, a big box of chocolates, and planting a sloppy wet kiss on your mouth
Yes, I'm talking to you, Jacksonville Jaguars. Anyone who puts the Rat and Denver in their rightful places is aces with me.