Tuesday, October 23, 2007

MLS refresher

Handy little refresher on the upcoming MLS playoffs, plus a brief profile on the man who should be league MVP: Juan Pablo Angel.

I know Beckham and the Galaxy aren't in the playoffs, but presumably you'll all remain soccer fans anyway, right?

RIGHT?

Whatever. I've all but completely ignored the baseball playoffs. I haven't watched this little -- as in "virtually none of it" -- since '99 and '00 when the Yankees bored everyone to tears.

Really, I'm still reveling in the afterglow of the rugby. Oh, you haven't heard? You're the best... AROUND! Webb Ellis is back where it belongs.

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Saturday, October 20, 2007

CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD!

What I wouldn't do to be back in South Africa right fucking now.

Head: exploding
Heart: bursting
Smile: beaming

I can't even put what I'm feeling into words, right now. Too much to process. Big shout out to the Springbok Bar in Van Nuys which is full of proud ex-pats like myself. Unbelievable.

Long live the Bokke!

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Sunday, October 14, 2007

Going to the Finals!

I could talk about being at the Coliseum, yesterday, and watching Arizona surrender to USC in the 4th quarter -- entertaining (for me) until about eight minutes to play. But why would I do that when there are MUCH BIGGER THINGS HAPPENING IN THE SPORTS WORLD?

South Africa 37 - 13 Argentina

I'm riding cloud nine for the rest of the day before going back into panic mode ahead of Saturday's final. Seriously, I thought I was going to have a heart attack moments before the Argies match, today, but then du Preez intercepted in the 5th minute and I could breathe again. Great display from the Boks, today, capitalizing on all of the Pumas mistakes. It's tough being a rugby fan in America, but fortunately, I found an ex-pat pub that was showing the match and full of rabid like-minded folks. It was lekker!

I think if we've learned anything over the past month, in this tournament, it's that anything can happen. Certainly, this is a different England side than what we saw during the group phase. Just ask the Aussies and the French. What a difference Johnny Wilkinson makes in that side.

Bryan Habana for president.

Go the BOKS!

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Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Stanford stunning USC, the state of Liverpool, and the RWC

No fancy titles for you. I'm tired, bitches. But I wanted to spout off about these three things.

I was at the Coliseum to witness Stanford, 40-point underdog, stun USC
As much credit as Stanford deserves, they had no business winning that football game. And as much heat as John David Booty (cracked middle finger on his throwing hand and all) is getting for his second half, I think the defense is just as much to blame (if not more so). Throughout the entire second half, Stanford was able to convert 3rd and 4th downs (4th and 20, anyone??!?!?!?!!?) at will. You won't win when your D plays like that, no matter who you play.

I was actually really surprised and somewhat disgusted at how quickly all the "die-hard" fans in the stands, decked out in their obnoxious Trojan garb, threw this team under the bus well before the game was over. And then afterward, all I could hear was, "We suck," "We're going to lose all the rest of our games," "I hate Booty," "Pete Carroll should've gone to San Diego when he had the chance." These people are idiots. USC has a great chance, provided the Pac 10 keeps up the high level of play and Cal and Oregon keep on track, to get into the national title game if they win out. But, I guess that's spoiled bandwagoning for you. Pretty dispicable, in my opinion. And here's another reason why college football needs a playoff: my friend at the game remarked, "Well, at least they can still get the Rose Bowl." To which I replied, "Meaningless."


Liverpool's sloppy draw versus Spurs marks the quarter-way mark in the Premiership

"Sloppy and disjointed. Where's Gerrard?" This is all that was running through my head while watching Liverpool steal a draw at home against Tottenham. Several times, I wanted to vomit. Not from anxiety, mind you, but out of disgust. Still can't understand how, in the first half, we didn't score on that 3-on-1 break when Voronin opted to pass instead of shoot. Should've been 2-0 or 3-0 at halftime. El Nino bails us out and we're terribly lucky for it.

I miss Agger. This is the note the team ends on before the next international break. So, some thoughts on the season thus far...

Certainly, there are plenty of positives to draw from after the first quarter of league play. We're right in the thick of the title race and we haven't lost games that, in the past, we certainly would have (Villa, Spurs to name a couple).

On the flip side, I'm a firm believer that (no matter what sport) a team is only as good as it's last five games. The break comes at a very opportune time, but I'm a bit sad to say that I'm not sure it will bring about any changes in Rafa's team selection. There are players ON FORM who need to be starting as many matches as possible. Some people are quick to condemn anyone who criticizes Rafa's rotation policy, sometimes even going so far as to say it's a myth. But the fact is that this team, based on what we've seen during the last five or six games, doesn't have any cohesion. The players don't recognize each other on the pitch. But here's the thing (before anyone jumps down my throat for even suggesting that there's a connection between the side's disjointed play and the shifting lineups): rotation, aside from providing some rest, is theoretically meant to spark competition amongst players. Yet for most every match this season, we've seen the same select few players consistently rising to the occassion. I wonder, then, why it is that Torres, Masch, Benayoun, and even Pennant, have not been elevated to automatic first team choice as is the case with Gerrard, Carra, and Finnan? Hell, even Arbeloa -- the team's most consistent player this season -- is sometimes less preferred to Riise who hasn't impressed at all, this season.

But it could all be psychological and, in fact, I would go so far as to say that the cause for our recent struggles is the Derby County match. Let's be honest, our competition up through that point, barring Chelsea, was not of a very high quality. And so we fattened up our egos before the real tests reared their head.

All this said, I believe there are two firm quick fixes: the returns of 1) Agger and 2) Alonso. If I had to make a wishlist for the rest of the season, the first wish would be that these two returned to the lineup ASAP.

Secondly, I wouldn't worry about not having a "true" left winger and just play Benayoun in that role with some regularity. He's shown that he can perform on that end of the pitch and, frankly, he and Pennant should be first choice wingers every match. Riise has brought little to the fray, as mentioned, Babel seems to provide more spark off the bench, and Aurelio... Don't even get me started on him. I just know that someone is going to ask, "What about Harry Kewell?" Well, forget him. He hasn't been with this team for 18 months. Time to move on.

Third, and this is related to my first wish, Stevie G returns to form. Having Agger in the back instead of statuesque Sami offers a little more leeway (sp?) to the midfield, allowing Alonso/Masch to take more chances opening up the game, as well as allowing them room to settle things down.

Fourth, Masch will always be preferred to Momo and Torres will always be preferred to Crouch.

Fifth, we buy a center back during the next transfer window. We've got cover at every position except for this one and it's killing us. Granted, we've only lost once this season, but my god have we looked anywhere between subpar and bad since thrashing Derby.

My goodness, this post certainly got bigger than I had originally intended. But I guess once you start ranting, it's hard to stop. I would like to note that while my thoughts might come across with a sense of bitterness, I'm firmly behind the club and all the lads on board this ship. If I seem frustrated, it's because I'm subconsciously mirroring the team's form. We've got the talent! Now, we just have to trust ourselves (Rafa? Are you listening?) and solidify the chemistry of the team.

YNWA


Springboks are "prohibitive favorites," which means, "I'm scared"
The only time I've ever rested easy about my favorite team being the goliath in a tournament were the '00-'01 and '01-'02 Lakers. Suffice it to say, I'm not put in this position often, and South Africa being the last of the Tri-Nation teams standing in the Rugby World Cup is no different.

I have to say, I'm a bit miffed that there isn't more of an uproar about New Zealand getting the shaft on that go-ahead try by the French -- what with that blatant forward-pass and all. As much as I'd like to consider the Boks to be favorites at this stage, you cannot deny the French at home. South Africa may be the better side, but I think they have a tougher semi against the Argies than the Frogs do against England, and you have to factor in the home field advantage.

Hopefully, for my sake, there are less surprises in the semifinal round. Although if England wanted a rematch with the Boks so badly that they upset France, I'd be happy about that.

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Saturday, September 29, 2007

Saturday Introductions

Hi, I'm Fiji, and I just prevailed in one of the all-time Rugby Union Classics over Wales. Probably the greatest achievement in Fijian sports, I dare say, reaching the RWC quarterfinals. Why is this good for the Bokke?
From a South African viewpoint it was the perfect result, for while the Fijians play some quite spectacular rugby at times, the Springboks are not physically inferior to the Fijians, which was the Welsh Achilles heel in this match. For a start, their pack should be no match for the Boks in the set-scrums.

After making the quarterfinals for the first time in their history, Fiji will probably also feel now that they have played their final, and they did have to dig deep to prevail in the Nantes thriller. It is hard to see them get up like that again for a quarterfinal just a week later, and they lost flyhalf Nicky Little, an influential player on the day, to an injury which looks serious enough to rule him out of the remainder of the tournament.



Hi, I'm Yossi Benayoun, and I rescued my Liverpool teammates for the second match in a row. I can't say enough about how much I love the addition of Yossi to the squad and would like nothing more than to see him get more regular starts on the wing, opposite Jermaine Pennant. Even if it was Wigan, an away league win is always an accomplishment.


Hi, I'm the NHL, and I have unceremoniously returned! I feel a bit ashamed of myself, quite honestly, because I love the NHL and, yet, (along with the rest of the nation) completely missed that the season began today. Maybe it's because the season opened in London with your Los Angeles Kings spanking defending champion Anaheim 4-1! Skreee! Welcome to the fold, goalie prodigy Jonathan Bernier. I still don't expect much from the Kings, this season, but this is a promising start and I'm excited to catch a few games at Staples Center. Go hockey!


Hi, I'm the Pac 10, and I'm AWESOME! The Cal-Oregon game lived up to the hype and more. What an electric second half. The Ducks really had every chance to win this game, aided in part by the highly dubious "missed field goal" by Cal in the third quarter (A kick the went over the top of the post -- which meant it was good. But just ask Oklahoma about that officiating in Eugene, OR.), but that bumbingly muffed kick return, a couple of 4th quarter picks by Dixon, and one of the most gutting fumbles in recent memory opened the door for Cal. Desean Jackson picked on heck of a time to have a breakout game. Sadly for Dennis Dixon, his Heisman candicacy took a severe hit. Cal had better hope Longshore's ankle problem isn't too serious, but the Bears are every bit a top-4 team. USC is still the class of this conference, but they'll have to deal with both the Bears and Ducks. Phew... I'd love it if Arizona could pick up a win tonight against Washington State.


Hi, I'm the Big 12, and I'm officially irrelevant. It takes a pretender to blow a 17-point lead to Colorado. I present to you: Oklahoma. And Texas was finally exposed for the overrated frauds that they are. Terribly overhyped by the national press thanks solely to their name, Kansas State smacked the hell out of them, Vince Young on the sideline and all. The Horns are K-State's new bitch. Don't worry about watching next weekend's Red River Shootout. It doesn't matter. Don't set the alarm, sleep in, catch the final score in the following morning's paper.


Hi, I'm South Florida, and you may as well give me the Big East title right the hell now. Beating West Virginia and seeing Rutgers proudly display their "pretender" logo by flopping against Maryland, there's no way the Bulls can blow this? Is there?


Hi, I'm Wisconsin, and I'm inspiring nobody. Even with the tight win over an unbeaten Michigan State, Wisconsin isn't looking too impressive. Isn't it funny to think that the only team that looks to have a shot at rattling Ohio State's tree in the Big Ten, this year, is a janky Michigan team? But wait... Here come the Ilini!


Hi, I'm the National League East, and I'm ridiculous! Pretty insane that the Washington Nationals and Florida Marlins are going to decide this division and a bit of a shame that the Mets and Phillies weren't scheduled to play each other during the final weekend of the season. Even though the Mets have imploded over the last two weeks of the season, Philadelphia fans must have that awful feeling in the pits of their stomachs -- a feeling they're all too familiar with. 162 games and it comes down to the final day? Yeesh.

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Friday, September 28, 2007

Could be Wales, could be Fiji, could be a smooth road to the Final

Looks like the English worked out a solid win over a fading Tongan side. Well done to them, I suppose, as they looked dead in the water two weeks ago. Will be interesting to see whether or not Australia decides to look past them in the quarters with New Zealand possibly on the horizon in the semis. But the Wallabies will have to be on guard, it seems, due to the injury to Stephen Larkham.

Wales v Fiji tomorrow in another winner-take-all contest with the victor getting the Bokke in the quarters. I'm obligated to knock on wood before even thinking this, but if things break right this weekend, South Africa may be able to avoid all of Australia, New Zealand, and France until the finals. That would be quite an advantage during the knockout rounds. And by "quite an advantage" I mean, "holy crap, we're penciled in for the finals!" All depends on whether Argentina can get a result against struggling Ireland. But even if such a situation arose, I wouldn't put it past the Boks to get overconfident and stumble against a game Argentina or even Wales. You never know.

I have to seek out a pub to watch SA's final group stage tune-up against USA before next week's quarterfinal.

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Sunday, September 23, 2007

Incoming message: WAKE UP!

Soccer, rugby, the college gridiron and the NFL. It's all football to me. A couple of my teams got a little too full of themselves and the results were apparent, this weekend. We'll start off with them...

Those heads had better be hanging low in the locker room
Liverpool 0-0 Birmingham City. It's a result worthy of a bullet to the brain. Although, I'd say that, while we played poorly, the Porto result was great. But the Brums result is beyond unacceptable -- its nothing short of stultifying.

I'll say this for BC. They came within two horrific goalkeeper mistakes of drawing, possibly beating Chelsea in the season-opener. Fact is, however, that those horrific GK mistakes were made. There's too much quality in our side to not garner at least one goal versus these chumps.

Looking ahead to Reading, on Tuesday, I have absolutely no idea what to think. That's partially to do with it being in the Carling Cup, but let's be honest: We've looked well short, these last three matches, of the champion we fancy ourselves. The time for making excuses because of the international break ended after the Pompey match. Evidently, we thought too highly of ourselves after romping Derby. Hopefully, at the very least, this serves as a wakeup call to Rafa and the boys.

Let this be your warning
Hey, Springboks, I love you with all my heart (of course), I don't need these heart attacks against Tonga. I tell you what, though, it's not beyond the realm of possibility to see Tonga punk England out of the RWC in the group stage. That would be something special.

With respect to Donovan McNabb
Is there a more critized QB in the league than Rex Grossman? He's like a conundrum wrapped inside of a dilemma. I'm watching him, right now, against Dallas. I don't get how this guy is still in the league. And yet, there are the Bears, still major players in the NFL. Although, I guess people know that Grossman sucks, so McNabb's original point still stands.

Within this same Bears-Cowboys game, by the way, is Tony Romo: The QB most emblamatic of the "We love him because he's a nice white kid who's won a couple of regular season games."

See you on the lynx!
Better luck next year, St. Louis Rams. Regardless of whether or not it's only week three, toast is toast.

Tale of two halves, much???
The Giants comeback win over the Redskins, today, was awesome to watch. If I didn't know any better, the two teams literally traded uniforms at halftime. That sure didn't look like the same Giants defense that surrendered a combined 80 points in the first two weeks, but then again, they were playing an overrated (to this point) Redskins offense who hasn't exactly been shattering the lights on the scoreboard. I still need to be convinced by Jason Campbell & Co. As I see it, they're exactly where they should be, at 2-1, although I thought they would've won today and lost last Monday against Philly. So let's temper all that Redskins hype, okay people?

I tip my hat to you, Lane Kiffin
In dramatic fashion (naturally), the Raiders beefed their record to 2-1* by blocking Cleveland's game-winning field goal attempt. But Kiffin gets all the credit because he has demonstrated that he is learning how to bend the system to his will. Listen, if Rat Shanahan can call a timeout when the game-winning kick is up in the air and get away with it, and if the league isn't going to discourage teams from doing that, then f'ing A, we're going to do it, too! Also, I'd be remissed not to point this out: Daunte Culpepper relieves Josh McCown and the Raiders get the "W." Let's keep taking notes, Lane!

Brett Favre and the Pack are 3-0
Are you kidding me?!?

I point and laugh at you
Notre Dame. Haha!

I point and laugh at you while mockingly championing the special-ed kids that beat you
Louisville. Haha! But honestly, Louisville, Syracuse really is a power house. That was always going to be a tough game. Especially matching up against Jim Boeheim on the other sideline and trying to find a way to deal with Carmelo Anthony. You've never dealt with a small forward like that in ages. Tough match up. And you just know Gerry McNamara is going to be a bitch on the perimeter.

I point and laugh at your coaching hire
Let it be known: The Norv Turner era is alive and well in San Diego. Mediocrity rules!

I'm sending a dozen roses, a big box of chocolates, and planting a sloppy wet kiss on your mouth
Yes, I'm talking to you, Jacksonville Jaguars. Anyone who puts the Rat and Denver in their rightful places is aces with me.

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Friday, September 14, 2007

A blowout of obscene proportions

I desperately hope that the illustrious Vs. network has the decency to replay the South Africa-England game this weekend (I'm basing this hope on having seen them replay France's massive upset loss to Argentina last Sunday), because it was ONE HELL OF A BEAT DOWN! I know England have been hampered with problems since they won the Webb Ellis Cup in 2003, but my oh my, even a defending champion playing with the use of only one limb still has to play like a defending champion. 36-0?!? Glory. Revenge is sweet.

South Africa humiliated world champions England in Paris on Friday as they inflicted a record World Cup defeat on them winning 36-0 to avenge their 2003 World Cup loss to the English.

Montgomery landed another penalty to make it 26-0 shortly before the hour mark and as if to symbolise England's appalling night Robinson -England's best player - pulled up in the 58th minute clutching his left hamstring when they looked likely to score a try.

Instead it was Pietersen who grabbed his second try in the 64th minute once again set up by the irrepressible du Preez which Montgomery converted to make it 33-0 - he was to add another penalty before fulltime - and leave England like Robinson bloodied and limping off the pitch.


Ah... Tastes good. Like fresh biltong.

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Barely even a slap on the wrist

If I'm Bill Beli-cheat, I'd consider myself very lucky, this morning. Let off the hook with merely a fine and the loss of one late first-round draft pick? I'm sorry, but for this offense, the given punishment doesn't even rate a slap on the wrist. More like a raised eye-brow and a shrug of the shoulders. Really? No suspension at all? I'm sure Tim Donaghy wishes he was an NFL official instead.

Few cheats are bigger than Beli-cheat (who claims to have misinterpreted the most black and white rule in the book), but O.J. is one of them. "No, listen, Officer, I swear I only needed that sports memorabilia so that I could lure the 'real killer' to a big autograph signing. It's my plan for justice, see?"

The loss of Greg Oden for the season doesn't just affect Portland (though they never had a prayer of going to the playoffs, this season, anyway), it affects the entire league. Profoundly. Personally, I've already lost steam with the Kevin Durant train and, frankly, half the fun of watching Durant, this coming season, was going to be comparing his progress to Oden's. The NBA just lost a major star and for a league that just endured it's lowest rated Finals since they ceased airing on tape delay, this is devastating. The weapons for sparking fan interest continue to diminish.

I'm not saying that playing in Nebraska isn't tough, but I don't think USC will have a problem covering the 10-point spread. I'm thinking 30-13 in favor of the Trojans. Arizona, on the other hand, is playing at home against a lousy New Mexico team and they will have trouble covering the spread. Willie Tuitama, you fill my heart with worry and doubt. Hanging 45 on NAU doesn't prove anything. Arizona 20 New Mexico 14.

If Michigan wins, this Saturday, it'll be business as usual. If Notre Dame wins this Saturday, Lloyd Carr will be executed on the field. Most likely by "Crazy Eyes" Mike Hart. I see the Wolverines at least surviving this one, though. As bad as their D is, Notre Dame's offense may be worse. Michigan 25 Notre Dame 17.

For so early in the season, there seem to be a ton of "locks" this Sunday. Cincy, Indy, Pittsburgh, New Orleans, Seattle, Jacksonville, Carolina, Dallas, Denver, and Chicago are all sure bets to win. All will cover, too, except for the Jaguars who still have an awful lot of explaining to do, after last week, and have an unreasonably big line of -11 (as of, right now).

Having dodged the bullet of any real repercussions from video-tape gate, the New England Tim Donaghys knock off a Chargers team that's flying across the country after getting physically beat-up by the Bears. It'll be close, but that Donaghy offense looks too impressive. Also, it's Norv Turner playing in a big game. 'Nuff said. Donaghys 27 Chargers 23.

Today, the Springboks will avenge their disaster against England in 2003 by mashing them in their Group A contest at the Rugby World Cup. The victory will all but guarantee the Boks a top seed in the quarterfinal round when, praise be, Schalk Burger will be back from his unjust suspension. South Africa are looking a good bet for at least the semis at this year's RWC.

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Friday, September 07, 2007

Predictions for the weekend

- No matter what the reports are saying, JaMarcus Russell will remain unsigned by the Oakland Raiders. And it's all this senile crazy's fault!

- Despite issues with Russell, the Raiders will win (and cover) their season-opener at home against Detroit 16-12.

- In addition to Oakland winning, the Houston Texans, Minnesota Vikings, and Washington Redskins all start the season with Ws, too. (Granted, they're playing Kansas City, Atlanta, and Miami, respectively, but shut up) During the Vike's win, Adrian Peterson announces his candidacy for offensive rookie of the year in a big way.

- Roger Federer (do I even have to say that he'll grab the US Open on Sunday?) beats Novak Djokovic in a classic four-set final.

- Because Major League Baseball is HELL-BENT on finding a feel-good story to combat their dishonest image of cheaters and steroid-abusers, the reports of everyone's favorite "special retard" will be ignored. At least, for now, while he's still hitting homeruns.

- Arizona will score at least two touchdowns en route to beating Northern Arizona on Saturday night in Tucson. You might be thinking, "Hey, jerk, duh! Of course that's going to happen." To that, I would respond, "Did you see the BYU game?"

- I will miss this weekend's action from the Rugby World Cup, which kicks off tonight, because I don't get bloody Setanta and probably won't be getting up super-early to find a pub that does. However, South Africa (with a boost from Nelson) open with a victory over Samoa and the USA (Yes! They're in the RWC! Again! You'd never know, living in this country.) will get flogged by an underachieving England side.

- Jimmy Clausen will throw four interceptions and not finish the game, as Penn State beats Notre Dame by three touchdowns.

- No player in the NFL will have as bad a performance, during week 1, as Jason David of the Saints did, last night. Absolutely shocking.

- No NFL team will look as dominant and impressive, during week 1, as Peyton Manning and the Colts did, last night. Cripes, they looked in mid-season form. Frightening, really.

- No matter what the result, there'll be far too many rednecks at the Virginia Tech v LSU game. Tigers by a touchdown in what turns out to be a really boring game characterized more by mistakes than good defense. 17-10.

- Michigan squeaks out a late field goal to beat Oregon, but their defense continues to be decimated.

- Israel will shock the world and steal a 0-0 draw at Wembley, this weekend, during Euro 2008 qualifiers. Steve McLaren will come under fire, once again, for being an idiot.

- When I attend tomorrow's Galaxy game against the Colorado Rapids, the stadium will be half-empty because a) Beckham is out, and b) this is the worst team in MLS. Rapids 3 - 1 Galaxy.

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