Sliver and Crack

Warren Sapp, against all odds, gets a spot on my list of heroes. $10,000,000 to the person who shoots Al Davis in the head. Not only would it be good for the Raiders, not only for the NFL, but for America. Do it for America, people!

C'mon, Lane, you KNOW who to start this Sunday

So the Raiders finally added JaMarcus to the roster, making way for him by cutting veteran DB Duane Starks, rather than ship off poor Andrew Walter. This report from John Clayton says that Walter's future is dependant on whether or not Josh McCown's foot will gimpify him for an extended period of time. Okay, here's the thing, there should be no dilemma here. Here's why:

1) Culpepper should be starting ahead of McCown, regardless. Especially with his former team in Miami up next on the schedule. Think he doesn't know what kind of tricks the Dolphins are up to? Daunte will be geared up.

2) Reminder: Daunte stepped in against Cleveland. What happened? A victory.

3) You managed to ship Randy Moss for a mere 4th round pick. You can't get at least a 6th rounder for Walter???

Of course, I understand that JaMarcus Russell is actually the problem, here. The guy still doesn't have a clue about the offense and if Culpepper goes down with McCown already lame, we're screwed. A fine Raider situation, indeed.


Elsewhere, the hot button topic the last couple days is OK State's Mike Gundy blowing up at a press conference, slaying the Daily Oklahoman. Well, the columnist of the article in question has fired back. After reading her rebuttal, I'm left wondering what the hell it is that got Gundy so bent out of shape. His image may have just plummeted from model of integrity to over-protective cry-baby -- the type of parent who shelters their child from everything, resulting in a warped, timid approach to life.

Incoming message: WAKE UP!

Soccer, rugby, the college gridiron and the NFL. It's all football to me. A couple of my teams got a little too full of themselves and the results were apparent, this weekend. We'll start off with them...

Those heads had better be hanging low in the locker room
Liverpool 0-0 Birmingham City. It's a result worthy of a bullet to the brain. Although, I'd say that, while we played poorly, the Porto result was great. But the Brums result is beyond unacceptable -- its nothing short of stultifying.

I'll say this for BC. They came within two horrific goalkeeper mistakes of drawing, possibly beating Chelsea in the season-opener. Fact is, however, that those horrific GK mistakes were made. There's too much quality in our side to not garner at least one goal versus these chumps.

Looking ahead to Reading, on Tuesday, I have absolutely no idea what to think. That's partially to do with it being in the Carling Cup, but let's be honest: We've looked well short, these last three matches, of the champion we fancy ourselves. The time for making excuses because of the international break ended after the Pompey match. Evidently, we thought too highly of ourselves after romping Derby. Hopefully, at the very least, this serves as a wakeup call to Rafa and the boys.

Let this be your warning
Hey, Springboks, I love you with all my heart (of course), I don't need these heart attacks against Tonga. I tell you what, though, it's not beyond the realm of possibility to see Tonga punk England out of the RWC in the group stage. That would be something special.

With respect to Donovan McNabb
Is there a more critized QB in the league than Rex Grossman? He's like a conundrum wrapped inside of a dilemma. I'm watching him, right now, against Dallas. I don't get how this guy is still in the league. And yet, there are the Bears, still major players in the NFL. Although, I guess people know that Grossman sucks, so McNabb's original point still stands.

Within this same Bears-Cowboys game, by the way, is Tony Romo: The QB most emblamatic of the "We love him because he's a nice white kid who's won a couple of regular season games."

See you on the lynx!
Better luck next year, St. Louis Rams. Regardless of whether or not it's only week three, toast is toast.

Tale of two halves, much???
The Giants comeback win over the Redskins, today, was awesome to watch. If I didn't know any better, the two teams literally traded uniforms at halftime. That sure didn't look like the same Giants defense that surrendered a combined 80 points in the first two weeks, but then again, they were playing an overrated (to this point) Redskins offense who hasn't exactly been shattering the lights on the scoreboard. I still need to be convinced by Jason Campbell & Co. As I see it, they're exactly where they should be, at 2-1, although I thought they would've won today and lost last Monday against Philly. So let's temper all that Redskins hype, okay people?

I tip my hat to you, Lane Kiffin
In dramatic fashion (naturally), the Raiders beefed their record to 2-1* by blocking Cleveland's game-winning field goal attempt. But Kiffin gets all the credit because he has demonstrated that he is learning how to bend the system to his will. Listen, if Rat Shanahan can call a timeout when the game-winning kick is up in the air and get away with it, and if the league isn't going to discourage teams from doing that, then f'ing A, we're going to do it, too! Also, I'd be remissed not to point this out: Daunte Culpepper relieves Josh McCown and the Raiders get the "W." Let's keep taking notes, Lane!

Brett Favre and the Pack are 3-0
Are you kidding me?!?

I point and laugh at you
Notre Dame. Haha!

I point and laugh at you while mockingly championing the special-ed kids that beat you
Louisville. Haha! But honestly, Louisville, Syracuse really is a power house. That was always going to be a tough game. Especially matching up against Jim Boeheim on the other sideline and trying to find a way to deal with Carmelo Anthony. You've never dealt with a small forward like that in ages. Tough match up. And you just know Gerry McNamara is going to be a bitch on the perimeter.

I point and laugh at your coaching hire
Let it be known: The Norv Turner era is alive and well in San Diego. Mediocrity rules!

I'm sending a dozen roses, a big box of chocolates, and planting a sloppy wet kiss on your mouth
Yes, I'm talking to you, Jacksonville Jaguars. Anyone who puts the Rat and Denver in their rightful places is aces with me.

Screw it. I know what I saw yesterday.

And what I saw was Sebastian Janikowski effortlessly nailing a game-winning 52-yard field goal to beat the Broncos. I don't know anything about this "calling timeout when the ball is in the air" business that The Rat pulled. What I witnessed, yesterday, was a Raiders victory. Mark it down, we're 1-1*. Got a problem with that? Go to hell.

Silver and Black: Committment to Asterisks.

Football, you wound me

I was so jaded from this weekend's results -- those results being Liverpool's listless, uninspired draw versus Portsmouth, U of A drawing a blue print on how to pathetically lose to inferior opposition at home, and the Raiders getting snaked by Rat Shanahan's timeout -- that I just couldn't bare to deal with the marquee Sunday nighter between the Chargers and Donaghys. I'll admit, it gave me a lot of satisfaction to see that New England routed the Chargers in the end (because it proves me right and continues to make San Diego look absolutely stupid for hiring an entirely new coaching staff headed by Norv Turner), but that bitter OT loss the Raiders suffered really was the last straw for me. Fortunately, football is a weekly sport, so I have until next weekend to recover from the vile taste in my mouth and sheer bitterness of it all. And then, like an addict, I'll drag myself back into the fray for even more irritation.

Words cannot describe my hatred of the Denver Broncos. I hate them so much. Rob Ryan's D and LaMont Jordan deserved a better result, today.

Some thoughts on the college and pro game...

- No one really thought Nebraska had a chance, did they? Really?

- Even though the Pac 10 went 7-3 as a conference on Saturday, the losses by Arizona, Washington, and especially UCLA are an unfortunate black eye for a conference that had such a strong showing just a week earlier. Once again, UCLA dons the title of "The Great Pretender." Seems the more things change, the more they stay the same. Washington at least put up a fight during the first half before being overrun by Ohio State's superior talent. Arizona's loss, as noted already, is just plain unforgivable.

- Speaking of pretenders (such as UCLA), I think it's pretty safe to put a fork in Louisville (who's defense literally is a wet paper bad) after a decent Kentucky finished what Middle Tennessee State started, Tennessee (who, although being on the road for both of their big games, has shown it isn't a first tier program this season), and TEXAS. While still unbeaten, there can hardly be a single, honest pollster out there who truly believes that the Longhorns, based on what we've seen on the field, are a top ten team this year. Save for one half of good football against TCU, they hardly look like a contender.

- Top five after week 3: 1) USC 2) LSU 3) Florida 4) Oklahoma 5) Cal. Sorry, West Virginia. I've got you rated seventh behind Penn State.

- The New Orleans Saints are clear frontrunners to be "that team," this season. You know what I'm talking about. That team. The one that has an amazing season the year before, gets all the pundits and analysts praising every step they take during the offseason -- all but handing them the Superbowl trophy by the time preseason rolls around -- then falls flat on it's face. There's one of these every year. Again, it wouldn't be the NFL if the same eight division winners made the playoffs year-in, year-out.

- Cleveland torching the Bengals' poor excuse for a defense sends two messages. 1) Naturally, never take any team for granted. 2) Brian Billick and the Ravens are really, really stupid. You wouldn't plow McGahee over the goal line with four tries to do it against that defense?!? Shmuck.

- Sure, the results are impressive, but how good are the Steelers really? They ripped the Browns and Bills, not exactly death row (unless you're the Bengals or lucky bastard Broncos -- just a whisker away from being 0-2 . ARGH! I HATE THEM!). I don't think I'm a fan of Pittsburgh's yellow helmets, either. Blah.

- The 49ers may be winning ugly, but the point is that they're winning. Impossible to be better than 2-0 at this juncture. Next week's game with Pittsburgh should be very interesting. And while the 49ers are sitting pretty, their victim today looks to be in a real nasty mess. Not only are the Rams 0-2, but they're 0-2 at home and 0-2 against NFC West opponents. Good night.

- Still decidely unimpressive: The Chicago Bears offense. Stinks. It's almost as if they plugged Marcus Colston in as their #1 receiver and thought things would be okay. Oh wait... wrong team. Still, Grossman & Co. look pretty miserable.

Well look who decided to finally sign an effing contract

Before getting to the titular subject, a couple NFL bits.

1. Given all the allegations of cheating (not only against the Jets, but also last season versus Green Bay), the whole Brad Childress fiasco (non-story, that it is), the celebration at midfield in San Diego, Rodney Harrison's HGH suspension, the acquisition of Randy Moss, The Snowjob in 2001, etc, etc, etc... is there any reason not to think that the Patriots are scum?

2. How screwed up are the Cleveland Browns? More over, how out of his depth is Romeo Crennel? Sending Charlie Frye to Seattle for a mere 6th-round pick after just two and a half quarters of football, having annointed him the starter coming out of preseason (a decision which many generally consider to have a great deal of thought attached to it) might be the final straw. Crennel doesn't know what's going on. If you were this down on Frye, why suffer through playing him over Derek Anderson (and, yes, the not-quite-ready Brady Quinn), when all it took was one bad half of football to say, "You know what? I'm not comfortable having you on the team. Forget what I said minutes ago about you being the starter." Woof. The Browns are going to get mangled by Cincinnati on Sunday.

3. Speaking of the Bengals, they should consider themselves lucky to get the win, last night, for two reasons. 1) That was never an offensive pass interference on Todd Heap and the touchdown clearly should've stood. 2) The Ravens weren't smart enough to just let Willis McGahee barrell through the tackles from 1st and goal on the 1. That's just stupidity.

4. Thoughts go out to Kevin Everett, formerly of the Bills. A crystal clear reminder of how the word "priveledge" -- as in, "It's a priveledge to play in the NFL" -- is well overstated. Your life is on the line. Your well-being is on the line. All you get in return, tangibly, is money (and they, NFLers, deserve every penny they earn). That being said...

5. JaMarcus "$61 million" Russell is finally an Oakland Raider. $32 million in guaranteed money for a guy who might be able to contribute midway through next season. Forget being familiar with the playbook, this year. That ship has long since sailed. He's been on my s-list for a while, now, as I never agreed with the pick to begin with (I was far more in favor of trading down, selecting Calvin Johnson, and using the gained draft picks to help address other needs), but now... Now that Russell is the highest paid rookie in NFL history (and last I checked, rookies -- especially QBs -- were more likely to bust than to succeed), he's got a serious uphill battle to wage if he's going to gain my support. Not that he cares the slightest about that, and, hey, give the man credit for scoring a massive payday. But to me, it's an issue of principal. Far too many have brought the hammer down on the Raiders' organization and tyrannical Al Davis for failing to get this deal done back in July (and that criticism is well-warranted) without giving any grief to Russell's camp. This season is a waste as far as his development goes. So let me ask, how worthwhile will this guy turn out to be? I'm skeptical, to say the least. Now, let's start Daunte and see what happens.

We know these things to be true

Week 1 of the NFL is the scariest time for a gambler because so much is uncertain when a league dominated by parity begins anew. That being said, after the first Sunday of the season, some things were quite predictable. We know the following to be true:

- The Philadelphia Eagles are on a mission to have the most pathetic special teams unit in history. Shocking! The Packers had no business winning that game. But the Eagles gifted it to them, so now we're all going to be "treated" to yet another media slobberfest about how Brett Favre's "still got the magic." *barf*

- The Kansas City Chiefs really are that bad.

- The Raiders had 36 points hung on them, at home, against the Lions, and they were still more impressive than the Chiefs. (Feeling pretty great about that call)

- Given, it was Atlanta, but I'm feeling pretty damn confident about my Minnesota prediction. I'm telling you: Vikings in the playoffs.

- Surprising absolutely no one (except for the morons out there), Tom Brady and Randy Moss looked incredible yesterday. If Brady keeps getting protection like he did yesterday, you can give him the MVP, now. As for Randy Moss? Hey, you get better when you're not a Raider.

- Also surprising no one: Jets fans have no class. Booing a hobbling Chad Pennington as he walks off the field and cheering Kellen Clemens when he comes on? Quintessential New York. Disgusting.

- Jacksonville, no matter how talented they are, still can't figure out Tennessee.

- The fact that not every play is reviewable continues to be one of the stupidest things in sports. Consider yesterday when Tommie Harris of the Bears illegally entered the neutral zone, being well offside by the time the ball was snapped. Harris stripped the ball from Philip Rivers and the Bears gained possession, halting a Chargers drive that surely would've ended in a score. That crystal clear offside by Harris? NOT A REVIEWABLE PLAY! For as perfect as the NFL thinks it is, they still get a hell of a lot wrong. If you're going to champion instant replay (and by all means, go right ahead), then at least have the mental capacity to allow every possible rule violation to be reviewable. For the love... it's not asking too much. PS - Thank God that Roger Federer was winning a fourth straight US Open title on CBS, because the Bears-Chargers game was absolutely brutal to watch.

- I don't care how many times they're scheduled for prime time (7!), I still have no interest in the Cowboys. Yap all you want about Tony Romo putting 45 points on the Giants, their defense still surrendered 35 to one of the most unimpressive offensive units in the league.

Predictions for the weekend

- No matter what the reports are saying, JaMarcus Russell will remain unsigned by the Oakland Raiders. And it's all this senile crazy's fault!

- Despite issues with Russell, the Raiders will win (and cover) their season-opener at home against Detroit 16-12.

- In addition to Oakland winning, the Houston Texans, Minnesota Vikings, and Washington Redskins all start the season with Ws, too. (Granted, they're playing Kansas City, Atlanta, and Miami, respectively, but shut up) During the Vike's win, Adrian Peterson announces his candidacy for offensive rookie of the year in a big way.

- Roger Federer (do I even have to say that he'll grab the US Open on Sunday?) beats Novak Djokovic in a classic four-set final.

- Because Major League Baseball is HELL-BENT on finding a feel-good story to combat their dishonest image of cheaters and steroid-abusers, the reports of everyone's favorite "special retard" will be ignored. At least, for now, while he's still hitting homeruns.

- Arizona will score at least two touchdowns en route to beating Northern Arizona on Saturday night in Tucson. You might be thinking, "Hey, jerk, duh! Of course that's going to happen." To that, I would respond, "Did you see the BYU game?"

- I will miss this weekend's action from the Rugby World Cup, which kicks off tonight, because I don't get bloody Setanta and probably won't be getting up super-early to find a pub that does. However, South Africa (with a boost from Nelson) open with a victory over Samoa and the USA (Yes! They're in the RWC! Again! You'd never know, living in this country.) will get flogged by an underachieving England side.

- Jimmy Clausen will throw four interceptions and not finish the game, as Penn State beats Notre Dame by three touchdowns.

- No player in the NFL will have as bad a performance, during week 1, as Jason David of the Saints did, last night. Absolutely shocking.

- No NFL team will look as dominant and impressive, during week 1, as Peyton Manning and the Colts did, last night. Cripes, they looked in mid-season form. Frightening, really.

- No matter what the result, there'll be far too many rednecks at the Virginia Tech v LSU game. Tigers by a touchdown in what turns out to be a really boring game characterized more by mistakes than good defense. 17-10.

- Michigan squeaks out a late field goal to beat Oregon, but their defense continues to be decimated.

- Israel will shock the world and steal a 0-0 draw at Wembley, this weekend, during Euro 2008 qualifiers. Steve McLaren will come under fire, once again, for being an idiot.

- When I attend tomorrow's Galaxy game against the Colorado Rapids, the stadium will be half-empty because a) Beckham is out, and b) this is the worst team in MLS. Rapids 3 - 1 Galaxy.

Football and Futbol

It's the NFL's favorite train-wreck, the Oakland Raiders! Yay, my team! Mike Freeman at CBS Sportsline chimes in with a rather uninspired, easy pile-on as to why the Raiders are the laughing stock of the league. I'm not about to deny that that is the case, for now. But let me tell you a couple three things, the longer this JaMarcus Russell eff-up lingers and drags out, the more and more I side with the franchise. Honestly, people like Freeman can slobber and fall all over themselves about how Russell will deliver this team to greatness, but anyone can tell you that it's no lock. Hell, the guy hasn't taken a single snap, WHY IN HEAVEN'S NAME SHOULD HE BE GUARANTEED MORE MONEY THAN GOD HIMSELF? I understand where Russell's camp is coming from, too. If the market is there, you seize upon it. Economics 101. But he hasn't done a damn thing yet. Frankly, I just as soon see him holdout for the whole season, at this point. Culpepper is more than servicable and both McCown and Walter are adequate backups. This team has no illusions of reaching the playoffs this season, so why cave and give the rookie everything he wants? Obviously, the way this has unfolded has been classic Raiders in the worst sense, but, in a strange way, it's also classic Raiders in an historical, defiant sense. "We're not going to be the team bullied around by some punk kid."

Maybe I'm reaching.

Listen, JaMarcus, you'll make more than Brady Quinn, more than Alex Smith, just get your punk-ass into camp. Because the longer the holdout goes, the worse YOU look. Not the team. And it behooves guys like Mike Freeman and other media hacks who take the easy road and pile-on rather than analyze and opine to adopt that mentality at this stage in the game. You want to change the absurd culture surrounding NFL Draft picks? That would be a start.



Meanwhile, in the more appropriately named football, this David Beckham character finally scored his first goal for the Galaxy. I have to say, even with all the ambivalence I've felt since his arrival and the fact that I can't imagine any knowledgable fan placing Beckham among the top 30 players in the world (if not top 50), it did feel pretty good to see him get off the shnide. In classic free kick fashion, to boot. Reminiscent of England-Greece at Old Trafford.

Across the pond. Listen, you really think a fractured toe is going to keep the skipper off the pitch on Sunday versus Chelsea? You must be dreaming. It's actually win-win for Liverpool fans: Gerrard will play on Sunday and skip the meaningless friendly against Germany. Huzzah!

My, the plot thickens for the mystery wrapped in an enigma know as West Ham. They finally brought in Kieron Dyer (realizing my dream -- albeit an insincere one -- of reuniting Dyer with Lee Bowyer) right as they get ready to pull their pants down and take one from behind at the hands of Sheffield United. If there's any justice, the Blades will be adequately compensated for their losses as a result of the whole Tevez-Mascherano swoop West Ham thought they successfully pulled off last season. True, if Sheffield win one more match, they stay in the top flight and none of this is an issue, but it's the principle of the matter. How bizarre, by the way, to think that less than a year ago, everyone was salivating over West Ham's Argentine makeover and look at them, now. Masch is with Liverpool, Tevez with the Mancs, and the Hammers still being haunted by the "third party owner." If the FA had handled this properly in the first place, Sheffield United would still be in the EPL. That's really all of the argument that you need to hear.

Picking Culpeppers

It's an interesting signing, Daunte Culpepper to the Raiders, to say the least. On the one hand, Oakland is picking up a veteran talent who, at the top of his game, is a Pro Bowl shoe-in -- a QB with the leadership and ability to shepherd a JaMarcus Russel (or, hell, even an Andrew Walter). But that hand is purely theoretical. The other hand -- the hand more grounded in tangible reality -- is the one favoring this signing as yet another stop-gap for the Raiders. Granted, those QB stop-gaps seem to be climbing the charts in relevance over the years (from Kerry Collins, to Aaron Brooks, to Daunte), but there's not much reason to cheer. Culpepper's body is broken and the distance to go to prove to the league that that is no longer the case is pretty substantial. Nevermind that every media pundit and fan happily overlooks Culpepper's penchant for turnovers (the man is "Captain Turnover," after all), even when fully healthy, the guy is stepping into an offense that is starting over from scratch. That includes having an inept offensive line. Yup. Culpepper will definitely get back on his A-game with all the protection he'll be receiving this year. Uh huh...

Anyway, the issue with JaMarcus is one that plagues the NFL and is one of those rare instances where football really can learn from the NBA. Regardless, I wouldn't have expected to see the #1 pick get any game action until around week 8 or 9. Now that Culpepper is in time, probably week 11 or 12.

Oh the Raiders... Amid all of this, however, I maintain that they'll beat the Lions in week 1. Booyeah!

Switching gears to the "other" football across the Atlantic, to a team regarded by many as the Oakland Raiders of the English Premier League (popular club that all opposition fans HATE, starved for success, serving to rabid, passionate, deprived fans amid constant turmoil), Newcastle United supporters didn't do themselves any favors when they descended upon unhappy star Kieron Dyer. You'll never see that kind of fervor over here. Imagine if Kobe Bryant's house was egged and surrounded the day he demanded a trade. Or his car mobbed by angry fans. Nope, not in this country. Not in a place where sports are considered a casual hobby rather than the only source of distraction from an oppressive, dreary existence in Northern England. I, for one, would laugh hysterically for days if Dyer went to West Ham. I'd pay money to see that reunion with Bowyer.

Only ten days 'til the return of the EPL! Me: excited. Liverpool kicks off with a visit to Aston Villa. Game on. I'll have to post some sort of predictions at a later time.

Elated, pissed, retired, and out of breath

Elated
Yesterday, Liverpool secured Spanish striker Fernando Torres from Atletico Madrid. I see it as a big boost -- a proven goal-scorer who can add offensive punch at an elite level. It's something the Reds lacked for much of the season. Given how frequently we dominated possession and the tempo of matches, we came away with a very poor return on goals. Putting Torres in the mix with Crouch and Kuyt adds a new dimension of fear into the hearts of opponents and bolsters our chances in league play. Let's just hope has an easier time transitioning to the Premiere League than Fernando Morientes did.

Pissed
"Prized" free agent acquisition, Dominic Rhodes, lands himself a 4-game suspension for substance abuse. Definitely an Oakland Raider. So this forces my favorite bunch of NFL meatballs into continuing to rely on LaMont Jordan out of the gate. By the way, if Jordan didn't make you gun-shy about signing a back-up running back to a big deal, maybe Rhodes will. Feel the underachievement!

Still need to sign JaMarcus Russell, too.

Retired
Seriously, it feels like every single week, at least one stud NHLer calls it quits. Yesterday, it was Jeremy Roenick. The man caught a lot of heat for being outspoken and, at times, being portrayed as someone who wasn't interested in the fans, but I have to say that he was still one of my favorites. Another likely HOFer.

Out of breath
The world of competitive eating will never be the same. The Mustard Belt returns to America.

Da Raiders. Da draft.

It's been a 10-week absence from this little page of ramblings and it took a furiously active weekend of manuevering from my gridiron laughing stock of choice to bring me out of a coma. Without further ado...

Wow. The Raiders. I'm not sure what to say and maybe I shouldn't say anything until the dust settles, but damn. I don't know. Randy Moss to New England for a measly 4th round pick? Obviously, the cancer had to go, but you're telling me that there wasn't a better deal out there?! Such is life when everyone knows you want to sell. University of Cincinnati cornerback John Bowie (the evenutal 4th round pick) better be special.

But then on the flip side, they sent another 4th round pick to Detroit for a couple of flyers -- Josh McCown (who'll probably start at QB ahead of JaMarcus Russell) and former USC-standout-turned-NFL-fatass Mike Williams. It's fascinating. Williams may yet only be a 3rd reciever on this team and re-teaming with Lane Kiffin could boost his productivity, but the guy is, in so many words, aggressively lazy. Interesting choice to replace Moss with.

Again, it would've been nice to see Calvin Johnson be the choice for the Raiders. But who knows... this could all work out for the best. Drafting Michael Bush -- the stud RB from Louisville who is coming back from a broken leg -- could pay off HUGE dividends and be the steal of the draft. Zach Miller, the tight end from ASU, should be productive immediately. Let's hope he's another Todd Heap.

Mentally-speaking, it does look like the Raiders are on the road to recovery -- much the same way the defense was just a season ago. Just so happens that none of the talent is "can't miss."

Just kill me. Kill me, now.

Lane Kiffin? Lane Kiffin?!?! Is this a freaking joke?! My god... Now, we all know the answer to "how far have the Raiders fallen?" The answer is Lane Kiffin. How undesirable is the Raiders head coaching job, really? Lane Kiffin. Is there anyone out there who is naive enough to deal with Al Davis' crap and think this is actually worth it? Lane Kiffin. 31 years old -- too young, no NFL experience, interviewed to be Steve Sarkisian's offensive coordinator when the former came in to interview for the head coaching job (filled with confidence, now). And yet, he fits the Al Davis profile: offensive-minded and completely clueless of the mess he's about to step into. I'm telling you, if I'm a Raiders fan -- AND I AM -- I'm absolutely livid, right now. I want to make my fantasies of putting a bullet in Al Davis' stupid head a reality. I want to fire everyone involved with that organiztion who isn't coaching the defense. Most of all, I want to take a baseball bat and bludgeon the face of every myopic Raider fan that is still living in 2002, thinking that everything is just fine. IT IS NOT FINE! Nothing about this organization is fine. And while I'm not anywhere close to turning away my Silver & Black loyalty, I will say that I've never been more embarrassed as a sports fan... ever!

The LA Kings are horrible, this year -- worst team in the NHL, as far as I'm concerned. But I'm not ducking my head in the sand over it. There are positives, albeit few and far between.

Arizona basketball had a mediocre season last year, well below the standards of Lute. That's okay. The fact that there is such a gold standard at all is enough to inspire confidence.

Two seasons ago, the Lakers were an absolute disaster. But they're "The Lakers" (much like Oakland is "The Raiders"). There is such prestige and notoriety associated with the name that you absolutely knew they would right the ship -- and right it fast!

The Raiders? This is a murky quagmire, people. I can't tell which end is up, anymore. All I ask, now, is that the ever-so-wise Lane Kiffin (a whole four years older than me) use his brain and trade that first overall pick in the draft. We need 2-3 1st round picks. Just like we need Al Davis to step in front of a bus.

Wild Card weekend

Lots going on this weekend. As I mentioned in the post prior, Pac 10 hoops will be a treat for the next two months. There's a great list of games tonight in the NBA including Allen Iverson's slumping Denver Nuggets visiting Mamba (one assist shy of a triple double last night) and the Lakers, Phoenix vs shockingly mediocre Miami (Shaq or not), and Dallas putting their 12-game winning streak up against the Spurs (I like San Antonio). Over across the pond, Liverpool host Arsenal in the third round of the FA Cup (yo!). I want that one in a bad way. But the big focus wil obviously be on the NFL, what with the uh, how you say, "playoffs" kicking off tomorrow.

But first! Less than a year later, Art Shell is back to where he started. The firing surprises no one, surely, but the big question now becomes "Who wants this most undesirable of head coaching positions?" Me? I'm a big fan of defensive coordinator Rob Ryan who was able to breathe life and a silver lining into an otherwise black, miserable season. The players know him, trust him, believe in him, and -- perhaps most importantly -- he's fresh head coaching blood. He's got pedigree, although I never thought much of Buddy Ryan as a head coach. But if Rob Ryan can motivate the offense the way he was able to get the defense to produce, this team is on the way up. Of course, after 2-14, there's nowhere to go but up. Also, he still has to deal with Al Davis and has the task of shipping off undesirables like Randy Moss and Jerry Porter before the attitude of the Raiders can be enlightened and their spirits raised. It behooves Oakland to make a hire before the draft. Their needs on offense are so many that drafting Brady freaking Quinn with the number one overall pick would be the equivalent of the little Dutch boy putting his finger in the dyke, then getting shot in the head. Trade down, pick up another high pick in the process, build with several pieces rather than gambling on a quarterback who never won a single big game in his college career.

Okay, now on to the games.

Kansas City (+6.5) at Indianapolis - There's a lot to be said of homefield advantage and certainly the Colts can speak to that. Indy is undefeated at home, this season. Additionally, if this year is any indication, the Colts always seem to play to the level of their competition. They get up for the games against tough teams. Now, that said, they're coming up against a Chiefs team that has the perfect recipe for knocking off Indy at home. It's called, "Larry Johnson pillages one of the worst run defenses ever." If KC can get an early score and keep Peyton Manning off the field (this requires limiting turnovers to a minimum), then we're looking at our Wild Card Weekend upset. There always seems to be at least one and the last two seasons, road teams are 6-2 on Wild Card Weekend. They probably won't have as much luck this go around, but the Chiefs are my horse to knock off a favorite. Before throwing out a final score, one gripe: Peyton Manning finishing third in MVP balloting. No, sir, I don't get it. Not that it matters at all, anyway, but are we suggesting that Manning winning another crappy AFC South division in spite of his defense or more praise-worthy than the resurrection performed by Steve McNair in
Baltimore? I don't think so. Chiefs 36 Colts 27

Dallas at Seattle (-3) - Neither team look terribly impressive at the moment. Each finished the season losing three of four. More red flags are raised on Dallas' side, however, as they've been giving up points by the truckload. They can't stop the run, they can't stop the pass, and playing from behind is decidedly NOT a strength of Tony Romo. Speaking of which, the "golden boy" seems to have been reading too many of his press clippings. Playing at home hasn't exactly meant as much to Seattle as it did last season, but it matters tomorrow. Also looks like Shaun Alexander is back on track. Seahawks needs to be weary of the pass, though. They're thin at CB and that could spell trouble, lining up against Mouth Owens. Seahawks commit less turnovers and Hasselbeck has more poise than his counterpart. That's the difference. Seahawks 28 Cowboys 22

New York Jets (+8.5) at New England - Holy cow, if you can get to Vegas, lay some money on the Jets. This line is waaaaaay too generous. The teams split during the regular season, but the edge goes to the Pats because they have Bill Belichick, Tom Brady, and are feeling pretty good about themselves coming into the playoffs. The loss of Rodney Harrison could be crucial, but their primary concern should be putting up points on offense. The Jets might be the story of the year -- a far bigger surprise than the Saints. They're in the playoffs on sheer guts and intestinal fortitude and the defense has been nails all season. Expect a war in the trenches with the experience and opportunism of the homefield Patriots winning out. Patriots 20 Jets 17

New York Giants (+6.5) at Philadelphia - Much like their two regular season games, this should be a good one. It's easy to pick Philly based on how much fun they've been having on this hot streak. They're playing their best football at the right time of the season, Jeff Garcia's got them inspired, they look loose and they're making big plays. But the Giants still have a lot of talent on their club and maybe... just maybe... the role of "left for dead" could suit them well. It'll come down to whether or not Eli Manning can make plays while trailing, because Philly rarely trails. So you say it's on Eli's shoulders? Eagles 26 Giants 21

NFL Week 17 Picks

Da... (sigh)... Raiders...
Oakland at N.Y. Jets (-13) - Finally, it's here! The merciful end to the most forgettable year in Oakland Raiders history. It takes a special group to be the worst at just about everything in the league. Bright spots this season: Kirk Morrison, Nnamdi Asomugha, Warren Sapp, Derrick Burgess (Pro Bowl), Ronald Curry, Shane Lechler. Everyone else? Well... you were terrible. Here's the sad truth about the Raiders: It doesn't matter if Art Shell is fired (because no one wants the job) or if Brady Quinn is taken with the #1 overall pick in the draft (because he's a decent QB who is the product of a media hype machine that wets themselves over anything that looks pretty and plays at Notre Dame -- quick, name a bg win in Quinn's college career!), the Raiders are doomed as an organization as long as Al Davis is micromanaging everything from upon high. It begins with him. You can lose Randy Moss for some draft picks, shore up the offensive line, whatever -- it won't matter. Davis is the problem and the proof is in the last few seasons since our last good coach, Jon Gruden, couldn't take it anymore.
Jets 31 Raiders 10

N.Y. Giants at Washington (+2.5) - You know, I just don't see it happening, Giants fans. It's going to take more than Kevin Gilbride taking over the play-calling on offense for the blue guys to win and salvage their season. I watched this offense roll over and die, last week. They've quit on the season. And hearing Antonio Pierce's comments today, I'd say the mood in the locker room is that even if they make the playoffs, they won't be proud to have done it at 8-8. So Gilbride will call the plays, but can Eli make them? Redskins 27 Giants 16

Seattle (+3.5) at Tampa Bay - Who are the Seattle Seahawks? This week, they look like a team that pushed San Diego to the limit, while putting forth just enough to get by the Yucs and head into the playoffs on a good note. Seahawks 24 Buccaneers 14

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati (-6) - One extra point. Even with that hideous October, the Bengals were one extra point away, last week, from controlling their destiny. They clobber the Steelers and then have a lot of time on their hands to figure out how to keep out of jail while watching the playoffs at home. Bengals 34 Steelers 17

New England at Tennessee (-3) - The Titans won't make the playoffs, but no one should be betting against the VY Express. Not after the last six weeks. I'm eating crow on this one. I was pretty adament the Young would flop in the NFL. He's made a believer out of me. Good for him. Patriots are pretty much locked into that 4-seed and they seem content with that. Titans 28 Patriots 21

St. Louis at MINNESOTA (+3) - Rams win close and ugly. That's about as much as I'd like to dote on this one. Rams need a ton of help that they're probably not going to get on a whacky Sunday. Rams 15 Vikings 13

Carolina at New Orleans (+2.5) - Carolina's m.o. this season has been that when there is something at stake or momentum looks to be in their favor, they blow it. Welcome to Sunday. Jake Delhomme, thanks for hurrying back. Panthers are the league's biggest underachievers. Saints 20 Panthers 18

Cleveland at HOUSTON (-4) - You're not going to watch this game, are you? Browns totally fell apart down the stretch. They at least played with some fire for the first eight weeks of the season. Houston in a laugher. Texans 28 Browns 6

Detroit (+12.5) at Dallas - Even if it is the Lions and Dallas is still gunning for a division title, no way in hell do you spot them double digits over anyone. Honeymoon's over for Romo & Co. and I think they might run into a buzzsaw next week. Cowboys 21 Lions 17

Jacksonville at Kansas City (-2) - A nail-biter of a game between two teams kicking themselves for blown opportunities throughout the season. Too bad for them that this game will be ultimately meaningless. Chiefs 24 Jaguars 20

Atlanta at PHILADELPHIA (-7.5) - Two teams headed in very polar opposite directions. There'll be a lot of changes in the ATL this offseason. Eagles 37 Falcons 17

Miami (+9) at Indianapolis - After the Patriots blow their game earlier in the day, the Colts will opt to rest their starters, realizing there is nothing to be gained in this one. Dolphins 25 Colts 17

Buffalo at Baltimore (-9) - Folks, I'm going on record: The Baltimore Ravens are going to win the Superbowl. Ravens 26 Bills 12

San Francisco (+10.5) at Denver - Stupid Broncos getting stupid lucky against the stupid Bengals... Grr... But just as they have in about every win this season, Denver does just enough to win. Broncos 18 49ers 13

Arizona at San Diego (-13.5) - Homefield advantage is still at stake and Kurt Warner is starting for the Cardinals. You do the math. Chargers 41 Cardinals 22

Green Bay (+2) at Chicago - Did you ever think in your wildest dreams that the Green Bay Packers and the absolutely atrocious Brett Favre (have you seen him at all this year???) would be in the playoffs? What does Chicago care about this one? Don't even try telling me that it matters to Chicago because they're "rivals." The Bears could give a crap and are content to rest starters for the 60 minutes. Packers in the playoffs... Madness. Packers 16 Bears 14

NFL Week 16 picks

Just want to address a couple things before taking on the second-to-last week of the most frustrating, irritating football season ever.

Firstly, regarding the futbol played across the pond, Liverpool have landed Lucas Neill for quite an agreeable price. At the very worst, the Aussie international whose dubious record for wreckless play has earned him many vocal critics, will provide cover at left back -- something this team sorely needs. Riise's defensive play has been wobbly all season long and I rate Neill ahead of Stephon Warnock and the anything-but-a-defender Fabio "the first crappy Brazilian player" Aurelio. Nice one, Reds.

Secondly, regarding Shawn Merriman's selection to the Pro Bowl: Shame on all of you. Especially those of you howling for Mark McGwire's blood after the baseball HOF nominees were announced. Merriman made a conscious decision to not only take BANNED performance enhancers, but aggressively sought them out. He gets slapped with a minor 4-game suspension and still gets to go to the Pro Bowl. Someone please explain to me how Merriman's offense is not patently WORSE than McGwire slamming andro before MLB listed it as a banned substance. Please, anyone. Speak up. But you're all so quick to vilify McGwire because he "dupped" you, even though he'd been mashing HRs by the truckload before any of this nonsense broke. So the justification for Merriman is... what? That he's a football player, so it's okay? We expect this kind of thing from him? Baseball has some sort of sanctity that doesn't relate to football? Absolute crap! You're all hypocrits of the worst kind. Hypocrits with a capital "H." And for the record, yes, I would absolutely vote Mark McGwire into the HOF because A) regardless of implication you are innocent until proven guilty, B) when he took andro suppliments, MLB didn't consider it as an offense, C) your only source of condemnation is freaking Jose Canseco. Get bent. Vote Big Mac in. Strip Merriman of the privelege of going to the most irrelevant of all the irrelevant all star games.

Now, let's get this season of mediocrity over with, shall we?

Da Raiders...

Kansas City at Oakland (+6.5) - Look, the Raiders suck. I know it, you certainly it, there's no disputing it. Getting waxed 20-0 at home against the freaking Rams just further solidifies it. If there's any last gasp of pride left in them (I'm taking the longshot and saying there still is), though, they'll show up to play against the rival Chiefs . Chiefs 24 Raiders 18

Minnesota at Green Bay (-3) - Tavaris Jackson makes his debut at QB vs the Pack. So while the defense he's facing isn't too rough, he still plays for Minnesota. Packers 27 Vikings 17

Washington at St. Louis (-2) - Playing out the schedule, nobody cares... Rams 31 Redskins 24

New Orleans (+3) at New York Giants - The G-men are proving too disfunctional to rest on their talent alone. Saints will get up for this after falling prey to the dreaded "letdown" against Washington last week. Saints 30 Giants 21

Tennessee (+4.5) at Buffalo - Come on ride the train... and ride it. Titans 23 Bills 20

Indianapolis at Houston (+9.5) - Well, I was wrong about the Monday night game. I admit that. But the Colts still play to the level of their competition. Colts 27 Texans 24

Baltimore (+3.5) at Pittsburgh - Might we see more Kyle Boller this week? Perhaps. But unless the field freezes over and Sidney Crosby takes the ice, Pittsburgh is going back below .500. Ravens 26 Steelers 14

Tampa Bay at Cleveland (-3) - Wow... Browns 12 Buccaneers 7

New England at Jacksonville (-3) Maybe? You just never know. Two prime examples of "good teams" slogging through mediocrity. The Pats lead their division by default and the Jags, as good as they are and with some of the wins they've notched this season, have some truly criminal losses. However, the home team gets up for big name opponents. Jaguars 21 Patriots 17

Carolina (+6) at Atlanta - The Falcons aren't good enough to win big, Chris Weinke or not. Falcons 18 Panthers 15

Arizona at San Francisco (-4) - Yep. Probably better off staying away from this one, too. But it'll be a shootout. 49ers 35 Cardinals 28

Chicago (-4.5) at Detroit - Stop me if you've heard this one before: easiest schedule in NFL history! The worst part is, given how pathetic the NFC is, it may not come back to bite them in the playoffs. Bears 31 Lions 10

Cincinnati (+3) at Denver - Broncos at home coming off a win. Cincy just got worked over by Indy. I should pick Denver, which is precisely why I'm taking Cincy. Bengals 25 Broncos 21

San Diego (-4.5) at Seattle - Man, I don't care if this in front of "the 12th man" (gimme a break), this line is way too low. SD still has homefield advantage throughout the playoffs to aim for. Chargers 37 Seahawks 17

Philadelphia (+7) at Dallas - After all that Philly fans have suffered through this year -- T.O., another Phillies disappointment, the Flyers getting blown out of the playoffs and then turning into crap, the Iverson debacle and the disarray is left with the Sixers -- you think there might be a Christmas miracle in store? Nope. It's karma for being such jerks as fans. I don't even think are the better team. Cowboys 24 Eagles 22

New York Jets (+2) at Miami - Yes, I'm taking the sturdy, hard-nosed Jets defense against hit-and-miss Joey Harrington. His present, this year, was getting out of Detroit. I think there are few with any reason who'd question him starting over Culpepper next season. Winning this one might be a little too much for him to accomplish without committing a handful of turnovers. Jets 19 Dolphins 16

NFL Week 15 Picks

Before getting into it, we should all recognize Lamar Hunt. Obviously, he was fundamental in pioneering the AFL and guiding the Chiefs, but he was also father figure to American soccer. MLS, especially, is forever indebted to the committment and resolve of Lamar Hunt and all sports fans are grateful for his deeds.

Three games remaining in the regular season. Here comes the gritty.

I can't... SEE out there!

San Francisco (+9.5) at Seattle - Because it just kicked off, let's get this one out of the way. The 49ers disappointed me by laying an egg against the Packers, but Seattle losing to Arizona?? Well, that's the NFL. This season more than ever. Seahawks finally wrap up the division, but aren't good enough to cover. Even at home. Seahawks 27 49ers 23

Da Raiders...
St. Louis at Oakland (-1.5) - Something tells me that they'll be showing this one in Los Angeles, I don't know why. Anyway, that Oakland D keeps fighting. Three picks off Carson Palmer last week. Everyone except for Randy Moss is at least showing some effort. That's more than can be said of the Rams (just ask Marc Bulger!) who officially rolled over and died on Monday. Raiders always seem to play a little harder at home, too. Raiders 17 Rams 14

Game of the Week
Cincinnati (+3.5) at Indianapolis - Quick! Name the last time Monday Night Football had a game actually worth watching? Worth talking about?! You probably have to go back to 1999 or thereabouts. To me, this looks a cinch. Only San Diego has looked hotter than the Bengals over the last month and Indy is... well... being exposed rapidly. Rudi Johnson nabs back-to-back 100-yard rushing performances as the Bengals put a stranglehold on the top wild card spot. Indy has to find a way to keep the Cincy offense off the field. It'll be tough. Bengals 34 Colts 22

The rest...

Dallas (-3.5) at Atlanta -It's weird that there is only one Saturday game scheduled. Usually, the NFL starts booking three for the day at this time of year. So what do we have here: two teams who tend to be overrated (drastically) by the media. They're in love with Tony Romo and the Cowboys, even when they get whaled, and the Michael Vick bandwagon loads up every time he puts together a good game against a schlub team like Tampa. This is a HUGE game with regards to the NFC race and someone's playoff hopes could take a major hit, but I gotta say, these two teams are not pretty to watch in any way. It'll be an ugly game. Atlanta's been a little more erratic this season and they don't have an offense like New Orleans does that can run the Cowboys off the field. Cowboys 24 Falcons 14

New York Jets (+3.5) at Minnesota - It's desperation time for the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets if they want to keep they playoff pulse beating. Coming off the loss to Buffalo, people are counting them out. That's just how this club (who has been playing way over it's head this year) likes it. The Vikes aren't very good either, consecutive wins over the Cardinals and Lions be damned. Jets 17 Vikings 9

Jacksonville at Tennessee (-3.5) - All aboard the crazy train! This is easily the toughest game to predict, this week. The Jags looked excellent in thumping the Colts, but Fred Taylor to a major hit that looks like it might keep him out of action on Sunday. On top of that, I'm scared to pick against Tennessee these days. They could be down 4,394 points late in the 4th and still win! Titans 31 Jaguars 27

Detroit (+4.5) at Green Bay - This is one of those matchups that just makes you want to curl up and stop watching football. Packers 28 Lions 25

Tampa Bay at Chicago (-13.5) - You know, I'm fairly certain that the Bears have the easiest schedule in the league. Bears 23 Buccaneers 7

Washington at New Orleans (-9.5) - It's called a "blowout" and it'll happen to yet another Saints opponent on Sunday. Saints 41 Redskins 20

Pittsburgh (-2.5) at Carolina - Hey, if Chris Weinke is still starting, I'm not biting. Suddenly, Pittsburgh has crawled their way back to .500 (pending the win on Sunday). Steelers 21 Panthers 16

Cleveland at Baltimore (-11.5) - It seems the vim and vigor that was churning in the Cleveland engine has all but evaporated. Steve McNair for AFC starting QB in the Pro Bowl. Yes, I'm being serious. Ravens 26 Browns 3

Houston (+11.5) at New England - Like I said a couple of days ago, these are not your older brother's Patriots. The Pats cannot be counted on to blow out anyone anymore. Even at home. Patriots 24 Texans 23

Miami (+1.5) at Buffalo - Buffalo playing at home probably should grant them the edge, but Miami's defense has looked better than any other over the last few weeks. Dolphins 16 Bills 10

Denver (-2.5) at Arizona - This is a trap game. The Broncos look dead in the water, but Arizona to win three in a row??? Broncos 20 Cardinals 18

Philadelphia (+5.5) at New York Giants - Like week 2, this will be a war, but the luster off this matchup has worn off considerably since September. Jeff Garcia's fire keeps it close, but the Giants have more talent... unless that talent is pre-occupied with sniping the coaching staff. Giants 34 Eagles 31

Kansas City at San Diego (-8.5) - One step closer to homefield advantage throughout the playoffs. LDT and Larry Johnson featured on Sunday night. Should be a treat. Chargers 30 Chiefs 17

NFL Week 14 Picks

Before getting into it, I'd just like to mention that I was watching Friday Night Lights earlier this week and the line "Do you believe in miracles?" was uttered during an improbably last-second win by the protagonist Dillon Panthers. This is, in no uncertain terms, unacceptable. This is not an "homage," this is cringe-worthy. "Do you believe in miracles?" should only ever be repeated in a sports context when speaking specifically about Lake Placid 1980. Anything else simply reads as a cheap rip-off.

On to the games (some of which kind of blow)!

Thursday Night Can't See TV

Cleveland (+7.5) at Pittsburgh - A sign of the times that the Steelers can't finish teams like they used to, defiant Cleveland almost pulls the upset tonight. Granted, they're 4-8, but every time you count the Browns out, they pull of a big surprise. Just ask KC. Steelers 17 Browns 14

Da Raiders
Oakland at Cincinnati (-10.5) - Oh boy. This could get really ugly, really fast. The Bengals have been taking their touchdown vitamins ever since last month's collapse against San Diego and Oakland, fresh off a home loss to Houston, is about as demoralized a football team as you'll ever find in NFL history. Asomugha has his hands full with #85, but I think T.J. Houshmanzadeh is the WR who is really going to burn Oakland on Sunday. Raiders cannot afford to turnover the ball if they hope to have any shot. Sadly, Cincy forces quite a few turnovers. Bengals 30 Raiders 10

Game of the week
New Orleans (+6.5) at Dallas - Suddenly, this looks like a possible NFC championship preview. Drew Brees to outplay Tony Romo as the Cowboys will be playing catch-up all day, meaning some choice INTs will be served up by Romo. NO's weapons on offense are so plentiful that they demand single coverage. We'll see how Dallas handles that. Saints 36 Cowboys 28

The rest...
Baltimore (+2.5) at Kansas City - The Chiefs, despite Sunday's setback against the Browns, still appear to be on an upswing and will be fired up for Baltimore at Arrowhead. The Ravens, meanwhile, need to check their offensive gears after stalling for just seven points a week ago. Jamal Lewis and Larry Johnson both find the end zone twice, but the B-more D is the difference. Ravens 26 Chiefs 21

Tennessee (+1.5) at Houston - You'd bet against the Titans after the way they've played the last four games? You're crazy, Vegas! Titans 31 Texans 24

New York Giants (+2.5) at Carolina - Ugh. My God, what happened here?!? Confession time: I had these two teams rated 1 and 2 in the NFC when the season started. How to justify picking either on Sunday? Well, I'm going with the Giants because Jake Delhomme's thumb may keep him out of action, so blue is the pick. But I'm not proud of it. Giants 13 Panthers 10

Philadelphia (+1.5) at Washington - The NFC is sooooo bad. (How bad is it?) It is soooo bad, that the Eagles still have a real shot at making the playoffs. Eagles 20 Redskins 17

Atlanta at Tampa Bay (+3.5) - The Falcons are coming off a win and playing a home dog, which means it's time for Michael Vick critics to start licking their chops in preparation for Monday. Buccaneers 23 Falcons 16

Indianapolis at Jacksonville (+1.5) - The Jags are "Hot and Cold: The Season," but they always seem to get up for the Colts who look ready to just forget the rest of the regular season and concentrate on the playoffs. Jaguars 27 Colts 25

Minnesota at Detroit (-2.5) - Oh yeah! It's gambling time! Honestly, I think the Lions have looked much sharper in recent weeks than the Vikes. Homefield advantage! Lions 24 Vikings 12

New England (-3.5) at Miami - Is this is a trap? The Dolphins have a history of playing well against the Pats at home and NE didn't look too spectacular against the Lions on Sunday. A trap? You better believe it, but not the one you're expecting. Bill Belichik's got something planned. Patriots 28 Dolphins 14

Green Bay at San Francisco (-4.5) - To me, this is one of the no-brainers of the week. 49ers 38 Packers 14

Seattle (-3.5) at Arizona - You know, a win for the home team in this one would mean that the Cardinals will have won back-to-back games. That alone is reason to pick Seattle. Seahawks 31 Cardinals 21

Buffalo at New York Jets (-3.5) - The Jets are good enough to win out. Winning out means finishing the season at 11-5 and rolling into the playoffs. Might be tough to get that roll going if they can't beat the Bills, but... they can beat the Bills. Jets 24 Bills 13

Denver at San Diego (-7.5) - Denver looks flat out poopy having dropped three straight. Count me among those smiling to see them fall on their face after the great Plummer-to-Cutler switch. Regardless who is under center on Sunday, SD is wrapping up this division. Chargers 29 Broncos 9

Chicago (-6.5) at St. Louis - As bad as Rex Grossman is, it's easy to keep picking the Bears to win every week when their schedule is so damn soft. Bears 17 Rams 10

Typical freaking Raiders

Imagine it, you have a bad Houston Texans team on your home turf. You've held the illustrious David Carr to 32 yards passing all game. You actually held a 14-7 lead at halftime. How do you contrive to lose? Well, when you're the Raiders, you find a way. There's a so-called committment to excellence here, after all. Committment to the tune of five turnovers (5! What are we? Rex Grossman?!) and good old Sea Bass going 0-3 on field goals. Houston didn't win this game, oh no. Oakland lost it. I suppose the only thing sadder is that Detroit also lost, yesterday, so we're still tied for the #1 overall pick in the draft. Next week, Raiders travel to Cincinnati. Better avert your eyes because it's going to get ugly.

NFL Week 13 picks

I've declared war on the NFL, this season, calling it a piece of crap and a wasteland of mediocrity. I'm standing by that statement. Still, no one stands clear above the rest and we'll be treated to another round of games between teams with few decipherable differences. 10-6 vs the line last week and there's a game most people won't be seeing tonight. Which is too bad, because it's the game of the week.

Thursday nighter on Can't See TV:
Baltimore at Cincinnati (-2.5) - Everyone wants so desperately to talk about the Cowboys/Giants game on Sunday, but this one is going to be the real prize. Better go to a sports bar if you have any designs on watching. Will Chad Johnson rack up another 260 yards? Doubtful, but the Bengals offense has been red hot over the last month and there's a ton of bitterness in their locker room over the last time they hooked up with the Ravens. Baltimore might be caught napping after humiliating Pittsburgh and gaining a stranglehold on the AFC North. Bengals 32 Ravens 24

Da Raiders
Houston at Oakland (-3.5) - Same ish, different day. Wait a minute, you mean to tell me that there's dissent within the Raiders organization? Get outta here. That's just crazy talk. Man, why aren't more people talking about this NEWS? Fact is, as long as there's a guy named "Al Davis" running the team and as long as he keeps making questionable hires, anyone with half a brain in Oakland will have ample reason to question what direction the team is headed in. Thankfully, a ray of sunlight hit the team earlier this week when Shell finally came to his senses and demoted bed&breakfast master, Tom Walsh. The Raiders have played well enough to actually win over the last three weeks against each of their division rivals, but have contrived to either blow one or two key plays or have the refs screw them royally (I'm looking at you, bogus San Diego officiating crew) and wind up losing. This week, though, it's a different story. A beatable Texans team comes to Oakland to face a rejuvinated squad, invigorated by the fact that someone with a little more experience and savvy will be calling plays on the sideline. Defense stills looks awesome, too. Namdi Asomugha is making plays left and right and Kirk Morrison is achingly close to being a perrenial Pro Bowler. It's on the offense to put up some points on Sunday. I think they will. Raiders 27 Texans 14

The rest...

Indianapolis at Tennessee (+7.5) - If we're talking strictly power ratings, as in, who do I believe is the stronger team, head-to-head, I'd have to rate the Colts 4th in the AFC. Despite the win over New England, I refuse to believe that the Patriots showed everything they're capable of during that game, and I can't see Indy's joke of a run defense containing either San Diego or Baltimore. Titans are giving their opponents all they want, lately, as the Giants can attest to. Indy wins by a narrow margin in the elements. Colts 24 Titans 21

Arizona (+6.5) at St. Louis - Am I a fool to pick AZ on the road? Not against the Rams, I'm not. Anybody's game, really, and Arizona should've won the first time around. Going with the upset. Cardinals 17 Rams 12

Minnesota at Chicago (-9.5) - No one likes the look of the Vikings, right now, which means that a good performance from Rex Grossman is anything but a given. He'll get slapped around by an amped up Viking D, egged on by his supposed trash talking from week 3. This time, the Bears rely on the running game. Bears 20 Vikings 9

New York Jets (+1.5) at Green Bay - Do you realize that the Jets are still in the hunt for a playoff spot? The Jets! Jets 31 Packers 17

San Francisco (+7.5) at New Orleans - The 49ers are finally back to getting some cred from people around the league. 7.5 points is far too generous. Saints 25 49ers 21

San Diego at Buffalo (+6.5) - It's December (as of tomorrow), which means it's time for the REAL "Marty Ball" to rear it's ugly head and step out of the closet. In for a tough one in Buffalo. QB play will be the difference. Oh yeah, and Vincent Jackson to tear an ACL. Chargers 27 Bills 24

Kansas City (-5.5) at Cleveland - All aboard the Larry Johnson Express. The Chiefs are on a roll and Cleveland has to still be wondering what the hell happened last week. Chiefs 31 Browns 16

Atlanta at Washington (-1.5) - Right now, I'm not sure I'd pick the Falcons to beat anybody. Redskins 21 Falcons 12

Detroit at New England (-13.5) - You're serious about winning the Superbowl? Then you'll beat Detroit at home by at least two touchdowns. Patriots 38 Lions 13

Jacksonville at Miami (-1.5) - I've given up on trying to figure out Jacksonville. I want to like them, but they've betrayed me way too much. Miami's on a huge uptick. Dolphins 17 Jaguars 14

Tampa Bay (+8.5) at Pittsburgh - This is not going to be a pretty game to sit through. So I won't do it. Steelers 18 Buccaneers 15

Dallas (-3.5) at New York Giants - I'm surprised at myself, even, for picking Dallas over the Giants. There's no question that NY has more talent, but what choice do I have? The G-Men seem to be rocketing to hell in a handbasket. Cowboys 28 Giants 21

Seattle at Denver (-3.5) - This is a tough one. On the one hand, I think Jay Cutler will fail miserably in the NFL. If he's such an amazing talent, why was he never able to lead a winning team at Vanderbilt? Does starting him over Jake Plummer makes this a more potent Broncos offense? Probably not. Plus, you're bound to have some rookie mistakes. Seattle was rather unconvincing on Monday night, though, and dealing with the Denver cold, at night, won't help their cause. Shaun Alexander won't be hitting 200 yards on Sunday, either, and Matt Hasselbeck seems to be one light shove away from being knocked out for another couple of weeks. It's actually sort of an upset that I'm picking Denver to cover (especially since I hate them so much). Broncos 16 Seahawks 10

Carolina (-3.5) at Philadelphia - It's sad. At the beginning of the year, this looked like a possible NFC Championship game preview. Now... Panthers 24 Eagles 14