Fuck you, Shane Battier

Was I still riding the high of witnessing, in person, Arizona's brilliant comeback against the UW Huskies until last night? Yes. Yes, I was.

But then I was rudely reminded that I'm a Lakers fanatic.

At least with UofA football, expectations are tempered. As a fan of the program, I've come to expect some stumbles over the last few seasons. But last night's bitter season opener had me fuming about a few things, as the Laker standard is considerably higher.

In order:

1. Fuck Shane Battier, that fucking Dukie fuck, I just want him to jump off a bridge and end his existence. I've done my best to refrain from swearing on this blog, but seriously, fuck him. And fuck Duke, while we're at it. And nuts to the idea that the Rockets have a hope in hell of the NBA title because they now have Luis Scola (by the way, he went for 0 points in 9 minutes).

2. I feel absolutely terrible for Kobe Bryant. Just completely sympathetic. On the one hand, yes, it's his JOB to carry this team and put up 45 points a night, but the guy gets no help. None. Zip. Odom being injured probably had something to do with that, last night, but when the only other Laker in double digits is 600-year-old Derek Fisher, we have a problem. Incidentally, Andrew Bynum went off for a whopping 4 points and 4 rebounds. Who needs an upgrade? Seriously? It's not like he's playing behind Kwame Brown (4 pts in 28 minutes!!!) or anything.

3. It's going to be another gut-wrenching season in which my nerves are tested and my hair greys. Time to dig in the heels, prepare for another season of slightly above .500 ball, complete with embarrassing losses and bizarre upset victories over the likes of Dallas. Lakers are a 7-seed, this season, and it'll never change unless Kobe gets some help... Something that looks like it will never come to fruition.

Cripes, I need a distraction. Anyone know when the baseball playoffs start?

... Anyone?