Elated, pissed, retired, and out of breath

Elated
Yesterday, Liverpool secured Spanish striker Fernando Torres from Atletico Madrid. I see it as a big boost -- a proven goal-scorer who can add offensive punch at an elite level. It's something the Reds lacked for much of the season. Given how frequently we dominated possession and the tempo of matches, we came away with a very poor return on goals. Putting Torres in the mix with Crouch and Kuyt adds a new dimension of fear into the hearts of opponents and bolsters our chances in league play. Let's just hope has an easier time transitioning to the Premiere League than Fernando Morientes did.

Pissed
"Prized" free agent acquisition, Dominic Rhodes, lands himself a 4-game suspension for substance abuse. Definitely an Oakland Raider. So this forces my favorite bunch of NFL meatballs into continuing to rely on LaMont Jordan out of the gate. By the way, if Jordan didn't make you gun-shy about signing a back-up running back to a big deal, maybe Rhodes will. Feel the underachievement!

Still need to sign JaMarcus Russell, too.

Retired
Seriously, it feels like every single week, at least one stud NHLer calls it quits. Yesterday, it was Jeremy Roenick. The man caught a lot of heat for being outspoken and, at times, being portrayed as someone who wasn't interested in the fans, but I have to say that he was still one of my favorites. Another likely HOFer.

Out of breath
The world of competitive eating will never be the same. The Mustard Belt returns to America.