Best NFL-related story of 2006

If you're a Lions fan, well, I'm sorry, that's a shame, BUT ALSO, hey, this'll put a smile on your face! Maybe...

Seemingly ripped straight out of The Onion, defensive line coach Joe Cullen's nude/drunk driving combo has to propel him among the elite in the NFL. The state of Michigan isn't new to this, though. We all fondly remember when former Wolverine coach Gary Moeller got "Moeller'd" and, certainly, we wouldn't expect anything less from the Detroit Lions staff. The franchise has a history of success. Marty Morninwheg opting to kick off after an overtime coin toss, Barry Sanders quitting because of Bobby Ross, Matt Millen blindly running the franchise further into the ground, the most inept clock manager in NFL history (you know him as Mike Martz) calling plays for the offense this year. It's all great. But how about having the nerve to hire Cullen after he was fired just last year by the University of Mississippi after an alcohol-related arrest at a restaurant? Listen, if it's not good enough for the SEC, it certainly shouldn't be good enough for the NFL. Cullen is bucking that trend, though. He seems intent on climbing the resume ladder, moving from college to pro to... well, let's just hope American football never becomes an Olympic sport.

Television is overrun by reality programming and it strikes me as an incredibly good idea to have a sort of Big Brother meets the NFL series. 12 people sounds like a good number to begin with as each week, through a series of elimination contests, someone is either voted off or just plain quits living in the house. The grand prize at the end of the series would be three solid punches to Tony Kornheiser's face. Anyway, here's your roster:

- drunk, naked Joe Cullen
- the walking ego that is T.O.
- Bill Romanowski
- those two lesbian Carolina Panther cheerleaders (2005's best NFL-related story).
- Ryan Leaf
- Todd Marinovich (oh, dude, I'm so high, right now)
- Jim Mora (who would inevitably drop about three or four "diddly poo" lines while in the house)
- Keyshawn
- Art Shell (he would be to this show as "Chief" was to One Flew Over the Cookoo's Nest)
- Rae Carruth
- Lawrence Phillips

And the whole thing would be hosted by... *drumroll*... O.J.!

There. Tell me that wouldn't make millions upon millions of dollars. Image-conscious NFL be damned.