DJ Mbenga is going to the Finals!!

First off, before the celebrating, I just want to comment on something I read this week. Sammy "Steroids" Sosa announced that he'll be retiring after the 2009 World Baseball Classic. Thing is, Sammy Sosa isn't on an MLB roster. He's unemployed! That's like saying, "Hey, you think I'm undesirable now? Wait until I'm unavailable!" What a worthless piece of news. This fucking idiot doesn't understand supply and demand. Shmuck.

AND NOW... THE GOOD STUFF...

I love these Lakers. I love them. I would say "yes" if only Kobe asked. Seriously. Mission not accomplished yet, but it sure feels like it will be regardless of whether it's Boston or Detroit. Great to see Farmar get his confidence back, too.

Mamba Time

Down 20 midway through the 3rd quarter? Forget about it! My name's Kobe Bryant and I own crunch time. One of the sweetest game one victories I have ever witnessed and Ginobili having a miserable game just put a cherry on it. Stat of the playoffs: Phil Jackson is 40-0 in playoff series when winning game one.

Have to love that any of the remaining four teams in the playoffs have legit shots at winning the title. If this Laker-Spurs series carries on this way, it'll be hard to top.


Speaking of excellent series matchups, I don't think there's been a better Stanley Cup Finals matchup since Colorado v New Jersey in 2001, potentially when Pittsburgh hooked up with Chicago in 1992. I'm talking strictly about when two heavyweights collide and this Pens-Wings Finals has the potential to be the most exciting, most entertaining of the last 20 years. Yowza! I wasn't a believer at the start of the season, but I'm taking Pittsburgh. In SIX! Fleury has just looked phenomenal. The big Red Wing machine might have trouble cracking this one, especially having yet to face a squad as offensively gifted as themselves.

Jazz fans are horrible people

Not horrible fans, mind you, but horrible people. Seriously, how do they justify booing Derek Fisher mercilessly when he rolls into town with the Lakers? He's a class act who gave you everything, Utah, and he didn't leave for money or the chance to be reunited with Kobe and Phil Jackson. No, he left because his daughter has CANCER OF THE FREAKING EYE and she needed proper doctors and facilities to help treat her condition. So because Salt Lake doesn't offer that and Los Angeles does, all of a sudden Fisher is a monster? FUCK YOU! For the longest time, you've held the mantle of most classless fans in the league and you've done nothing to deter that notion, especially lately. Nevermind the racial bias, nevermind Larry Miller, nevermind championing a creton like Karl Malone, it's all about the pure ignorance that comes with living in the state of Utah and sticking to your guns of not being an NBA fan, but being a Jazz fan and only a Jazz fan.

Miserable, miserable people. Lakers are winning this series in six games and D-Fish will be dropping 20 in Salt Lake when they clinch it. Pathetic people.


Shifting gears (and a couple days late, I realize, but I work my balls off so save it), Kobe finally got his MVP. The best player in the league having the best season of his career... Makes it hard for even the staunchest Chris Paul supporter to argue. And I love Chris Paul. No doubt, Kobe was the clear choice, this season and, finally, we can erase the memory that Dirk Nowitzki of all people won last year's award. *shudder*

But here's where the voting process has flaws: LeBron James received a first-place vote in the balloting. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WHY? That smacks of a voter who is on crack or simply doesn't care that LeBron did little to elevate his crap team in a crap conference. If LeBron was deserving of a first-place vote, this year, then Kobe should have three MVPs already. And we all know that shouldn't be the case. Inexcusable. Realizing that the post-season has nothing to do with regular season voting, how about those first two LeBron performances against Boston, huh? Wow! Just miserable (but not as miserable as Jazz fans)!

Another thing I don't understand: How Kobe was the only member of the All-NBA 1st Team (Kobe, CP3, KG, Dwight Howard, LeBron) to be unanimously voted to the team. It's clear that these five were an unquestionable cut above the rest of the league. There were no other candidates for 1st Team, as far as I'm concerned. And for what it's worth, I say Deron Williams should've been 2nd team ahead of Steve Nash.

Merry Christmas. You're fired.

So the Chicago Bulls fired head coach Scott Skiles, today. On Christmas Eve! I always knew Jerry(s) Krause and Reinsdorf didn't have hearts, but geez...

Also, Kobe is the fastest player to 20,000 points. Pretty amazing considering he exists in the same universe as Wilt Chamberlain and Michael Jordan.

#24

God damn. I love watching Kobe Bryant play. Unreal.

Lakers 119 - Suns 98

And folks, it wasn't even that close. FEELIN' YOU!

So proud of my boys for last night's insane performance on the road, sans Lamar. Watched all 48 minutes and was elated through just about all of it. They worked it with four point guards, even! Quite easily my favorite Laker game since Kobe's OT buzzer-beater in game 4 of the 2006 first round against Phoenix. Vlad Radmanovic for MVP! What a difference not having Smush Parker makes.

And now, an exchange between Suns fanatic Brent and Laker honk Alan...

Brent:
Sorry I didn't respond to your series of taunting texts. I passed out from lack of sleep at about 10 o'clock.

Anyway, the Suns seem to have a chronic early-season problem. It has happened the last three years (remember they went 1-5 to start the year last year, and lost their first game against the Lakers when they didn't have Kobe). That interior defense is atrocious, and if they think Boris Diaw and Brian Skinner are going to keep them guys out of the paint and keep them in games on the defensive glass, they are going to have a long season.

Also, Grant Hill needs to stop taking threes. His ranger is 19-feet and in. Mike D'Antoni was pissed at Phil Jackson for calling that timeout in the fourth quarter (he yelled at Phil, "It's alright, we have three more games.". Phil then told D'Antoni to "shut the fuck up." In the press conference afterwards, D'Antoni said, "I thought he disrespected our players, but he likes to play the mind games. That's fine. He might want to try to do it in playoff time when we bust them every time."

Always good to see the flames stoked in a rivalry. I guess the chemistry issues need to work themselves out over the course of the first month of the season, but Hill should be coming off the bench.

One thing I've seen that I really like: Boris has a 17-foot jumper. Other than that, Amare's interior D still isn't very good, Raja and LB are recovering from injuries that prevent them from shooting well (LB 0-for-4 from the FT line- injured ribs; Raja 3-for-17 in two games- tendinitis in ankle), and for some inexplicable reason, Marcus Banks is getting playing time in the first quarter (I'd rather see DJ Strawberry out there).

An early ass-kicking is a good thing. Wake up, people! It's no longer the preseason.

Alan:
Yeah, I still can't over how much we owned the interior. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE PLAY DEFENSE!! Lack of defensive consistency has killed this team the last couple seasons, but last night? Wow. All I could think was, "Where the fuck is Amare?" And the announcers felt the same. All 12 Lakers got playing time and contributed... by halftime. This was one of those odd games where our bench was actually clicking on all cylinders. If only 2 guys a night -- say Radmanovic and Bynum or any such combo -- were hitting, this'd be a very solid team. But to have everyone on fire? Our shooting was unbelievable which points to some slop perimeter D from the Suns (you mentioned Raja and LB being hurt) which Screamin' A. Smith was crowing about at halftime . No Odom either, which probably was a good thing in this instance (everyone knowing they had to pick up the slack).

The Phil-D'Antoni spat amuses me. Given, the game was completely in hand when that TO was called, but I think the average age of the Lakers on the floor at the time was something like 21. They still need coaching, teaching, discipline. D'Antoni came off as a baby, really, because we all know Phil is into teaching the kids for future occassions.

Most importantly, I think Kobe came away from last night feeling a little less dejected about his predicament. Very interested to see how this unexpected whoopin' affects their intensity on Sunday against Utah.

Fuck you, Shane Battier

Was I still riding the high of witnessing, in person, Arizona's brilliant comeback against the UW Huskies until last night? Yes. Yes, I was.

But then I was rudely reminded that I'm a Lakers fanatic.

At least with UofA football, expectations are tempered. As a fan of the program, I've come to expect some stumbles over the last few seasons. But last night's bitter season opener had me fuming about a few things, as the Laker standard is considerably higher.

In order:

1. Fuck Shane Battier, that fucking Dukie fuck, I just want him to jump off a bridge and end his existence. I've done my best to refrain from swearing on this blog, but seriously, fuck him. And fuck Duke, while we're at it. And nuts to the idea that the Rockets have a hope in hell of the NBA title because they now have Luis Scola (by the way, he went for 0 points in 9 minutes).

2. I feel absolutely terrible for Kobe Bryant. Just completely sympathetic. On the one hand, yes, it's his JOB to carry this team and put up 45 points a night, but the guy gets no help. None. Zip. Odom being injured probably had something to do with that, last night, but when the only other Laker in double digits is 600-year-old Derek Fisher, we have a problem. Incidentally, Andrew Bynum went off for a whopping 4 points and 4 rebounds. Who needs an upgrade? Seriously? It's not like he's playing behind Kwame Brown (4 pts in 28 minutes!!!) or anything.

3. It's going to be another gut-wrenching season in which my nerves are tested and my hair greys. Time to dig in the heels, prepare for another season of slightly above .500 ball, complete with embarrassing losses and bizarre upset victories over the likes of Dallas. Lakers are a 7-seed, this season, and it'll never change unless Kobe gets some help... Something that looks like it will never come to fruition.

Cripes, I need a distraction. Anyone know when the baseball playoffs start?

... Anyone?

"Don't count on it."

Thank you, John Paxson for finally laying to rest the myth that Kobe is heading to Chicago. Again, the LA Times was ahead of the curve on that one. But check out this tease. Holy smokes! I don't quite believe it and don't think I will until the deal actually goes down and the players involved pass their physicals, if only because that is one giant carrot to dangle in front of Laker Nation and if KG doesn't end up coming here, I'd rather not be crushed about it. So, no point in pinning my hopes on it, now. If I'm going to survive this Mamba Drama, it's going to take some expert emotional control. And as Paxson told Kobe, "Don't count on it."

But let's just say that Odom and Bynum leave town to make way for Garnett. We'd be looking at a Laker lineup that ran the floor something like this (keeping in mind that we're losing Mihm and Smush is as good as dead to us):
Starters
C Kwame
F KG
F Walton
G Mamba
G Farmer

Bench
F/C Turiaf
F Radmanovic
F Cook
G Vujacic
G/F Mo Evans
1st round pick
Mid-level exception

The bench is left a little thin and we could definitely use some help at center, but, my goodness, Mamba+KG = Contender

Now, would Garnett fit with Kobe? If it's a matter of ego, it's been well-established that Kobe's will rise to the top, while KG will keep any dirty business to himself. Both recognize in each other a common goal and matching intensity. This is also the exact scenario that makes Phil Jackson an invaluable coach. The guy built a legacy off of managing egos on championship teams. It's when his teams didn't have the talent that his efforts (or lack thereof, depending on how much stock you take in his sideline demeanor during games) went for naught. Again, Jackson is great at turning teams from good to elite, not bad to good.

So, for now, fingers crossed. But I remain cautiously realistic.

Bouncing into the weekend

Because it is Friday and things are a little slow at the moment, some quick bullets on the hot (and not so hot) issues this week. Everything aside from Kobe, that is, because he still isn't going anywhere before next summer.

Pacman Jones
Let's just drop the whole issue, shall we, and just fire him already. People don't seem to be aware that this suspension imposed by the league doesn't just apply to the coming season, it spans forever. So let's just accept that this guy isn't going to play golf or watch daytime TV in his spare time and cut our losses. Whaddya say, Roger?

Sammy Steroids
It wasn't long ago that 600 homeruns meant you were a baseball immortal. But as Jayson Stark said in an interview, last night, this is the price we're paying for the steroids era. The numbers -- particularly the power numbers -- have been devalued to such an extreme that when a scumbag like Sosa finally does hit 600, it barely illicits a response. By tacitlly allowing rampant steroid and growth hormone abuse, Major League Baseball has sacrificed the very lore that makes people sentimental over the sport in the first place. Without the numbers -- 755, 61, 191 -- what does baseball have left? I'll be very curious to see how people react to Ken Griffey Jr. hitting 600, which will probably happen by season's end. Griffey deserves all the accolades coming his way. It's pretty fair to say that Sosa does not. And while we're condemning one of baseball all-time shadiest characters, a message to all the baseball writers and media personalities absolving Sosa of the past while still condeming Mark McGwire: PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS. If Big Mac only received a HOF vote in the low 20s, then damn it, Sosa should, too. All or nothing. If anything, Sosa was an even bigger cheater (corked bat), more deceitful (left the country, forgot how to speak English in front of Congress), and was never at any time considered one of the best to play right field (not that the Hall of Fame values "excellence" anymore. You just have to be "good and well-liked"). The Baseball Hall of Fame: Becoming more irrelevant by the second.

Kevin Garnett
If one superstar is getting traded, this summer, it's him. And it will be to the Suns. No one else has a chance. Is Chicago going to mortgage Hinrich/Deng/Gordon? Not likely. Phoenix isn't budging when it comes to keeping Amare off the table, either. Just the thought of a Nash/Amare/KG trio should be enough to make everyone else concede their games against the Suns and just play for second place.

Thierry Henry
Unfortunately for Gunners supporters, there will be no miracle. Henry is off to the Catalan. Surprising? No, not at all. Re-read the part where I said there will be no miracle. What does it mean for Arsenal? Well, they were without Henry for a large chunk of the season and still managed fourth place in the table. I'd say that no longer having the distraction of whether or not he'll play could be advantageous. While I maintain that there's no better striker in the world than a healthy Thierry Henry (that includes Drogba), Arsenal should recover rather quickly. Adebayor needs to work on his consistency, though.

Wimbledon
I'm a sucker for Grand Slam Tennis and it doesn't get much better than this one. Federer's gunning for Borg's record of five consecutive Wimby titles. He's going to get it, too. Can't imagine he's too happy about just missing out on the French... again. Watch out.

Gold Cup
Not many people even know it's going on and, really, they don't need to. It's been some miserable, miserable soccer. But -- and there is a big but -- the US and Mexico have managed to sleepwalk their way to the final. USA v Mexico? Count me in. Prediction? Please, how could I possibly offer anything other than 2-0 to the Americans? Copa America is right around the corner... By the by, terrible luck for Canada in the semi against the US. That equalizing goal in the dying seconds definitely was not offside. I'm rather amazed that Paul Stalteri didn't murder the ref on site.

NBA Draft
Less than a week away. Strong crop of talent, too. At least at first glance. However, is it just me, or has there been so much attention focused on why Oden will go ahead of Durant that people haven't bothered to ponder what will happen between picks 3-58?

Tri-Nations
Springboks host the All Blacks tomorrow in Durban, 5 a.m. PST. COMME BOKKE!

Black Mamba Drama

Take it from the LA Times, people, because they know better than you. From this point on, they're the only news source I'm listening to on the matter. Kobe isn't going anywhere this summer. Not before the draft, not after it. And as much of a hump as Jerry Buss is, he'll be doing the right thing by keeping Mamba in town. Kobe's bitter as all hell about it (and rightfully so), but he's not going to Chicago... yet. Check back in a year.

Meanwhile, I cannot say the thought of a Jermaine O'Neal for Bynum and Odom swap is very enticing. Not unless the Lakers had another deal in line to follow that up. Why? Because I see it largely as a wash with regards to the Lakers. If they are to "compete" as Kobe desires, they'll need a player of Odom's caliber in a tertiary roll. Otherwise, a two-man show of Mamba and Jermaine doesn't have nearly the impact or the veteran supporting cast that the Shaq/Kobe teams did. Bynum, Walton, and a first round pick to Indiana for the big guy? Now we're talking.

Wha? Fu-- What the? Wha...?

It's all falling apart for the Lake Show. The wheels have come off and Jerry Buss has finally (FINALLY!) been outed as the drunken bastard who wrecked the car. All the misinformation around Kobe, all the lies, all the deceipt, all the reluctance to be a competitor these past three seasons... it's finally caught up to Buss and Kupchak who are now rivaling the likes of Isiah, Ainge, and Babcock for GMs with the least sense, hell-bent on being recognized as absolute trainwrecks. In Buss' case, trainwrecks that blow a code red on the breathalizer with a 23-year-old prosti in the car.

The analysis is going to fly in from all directions and the trade rumors will swirl for ever until a trade finally happens -- likely another fifty cents on the dollar firesale, like with Shaq. I'm just not ready to deal with it, yet. It's too soon and I feel too jaded, too angry, too used by this organization to do anything, right now, but vent. Maybe punch a wall or Jerry Buss in the face. I mean, what do we have with this freaking team? Odom's having surgery (good luck trading him, now), Kwame (still makes me sick that he's on the roster at all) is having surgery, Luke Walton's a free agent (and why would he ever come back if Kobe left?), Phil Jackson can only turn great teams into elite teams and not bad teams into good teams -- so he's a waste -- and Shaq has corroborrated everything that I (and the rest of the world, as of this morning) know to be true. But hey, at least we have Andrew Bynum, right? The slime so closely associated with Hollywood is by no means restricted to the movie industry. Not in this town.

A desperate plea: Kobe, you're completely in the right. Completely. And if anything, it's Buss and Kupchak who should be getting carted off to the morgue instead of you bolting out of town to play in what? Chicago? Dallas (God forbid)? But please, please, as a fan who you've no personal connection or obligation to, stay. I don't think I could stand it, as a Lakers fan, if this franchise gave away the two most dominant players in the league in so short a span. I might never recover. My benders will stretch for months instead of the casual days. And in the likely event that you refuse, know that I understand your Machiavellian mind. You know full well that you're the biggest attraction in the league. Hell, I watch this team every night almost exclusively to see you light it up. But just as you know you're the reason anyone watches the Lakers, you know that the Lakers -- THE LAKERS! MIGHTY FRANCHISE THAT THEY ARE! will offer no reason for fans to watch them once you're gone. None. And this team deserves punishment like that if those two clowns remain in charge. They really do.

Decidedly unimpressed

The NBA and the NFL, respectively, have a lot to own up to for the product put out this weekend. The former actually had a couple of standout, positive performances -- each coming from Laker games (Kobe's 53-point heroics in a double OT comeback from as much as 21 down in the 3rd quarter to beat Houston on Friday and last night's 60-point outburst from Gilbert Arenas staving off another impressive Lakers comeback in OT). But it's what is sandwiched in the middle that'll dominate headlines. It's almost as if the NBA gods woke up from a Rip Van Winkle-esque snooze only to realize that the Brawl in the Palace of Auburn Hills happened two years ago and thought, "Well, crap, that won't stand. Let's cancel out the brilliance of that Houston/Lakers game from Friday where our stars, Kobe and Yao, shined in the national spotlight and have another fiasco!" Add one of the faces of the league in Melo as the biggest offender from Saturday's scrap and... *drumroll*... image problems facing the league are not going anywhere. How Isiah Thomas is even still affiliated with the NBA is beyond me. He's been catastrophic in every single capacity since retiring as a player.

Then there's the NFL which has to be the most bland, unimpressive league for this sports calendar year. The Bears (weakest schedule ever) get pushed to OT against the Bucs, giving up 31 points to one of the worst offenses in the league, and the Saints lose to Washington? Forget it. I give up. I no longer care. And count me among those who think the Chargers will stumble along the way to the Superbowl. They clearly look like the best team, today, but Marty's on the sideline. And when the Bengals slap the Colts tonight, I'm demanding that half of Peyton Manning's sponsors back away (that'll still leave him with about 2,000 or so).

Thank the heavens for college basketball, although the supposed showdown this weekend between Wisconsin and Pittsburgh was anything but. And really, that shouldn't surprise anyone. Pitt hasn't played anyone of merit and have struggled in recent games against mediocre opponents. The Badgers are becoming more and more battle-tested and looking very much like the Final Four-caliber team I think they are. But back on Pitt, the Big East as a whole has been decidedly unimpressive thus far. Pitt got squashed in their first real test, UConn is benefitting from playing the 299th toughest schedule in the country (insert slow clap here), Georgetown is off to a rocky start, failing to approach anything resembling top ten billing, Syracuse still won't travel, Cincy's (lost to Wofford this season, by the way) torching against Ohio State is indicative of how far off the pace they are, beating Louisville carries less and less meaning with every passing game. Hell, for such a power conference, only Marquette looks like a true threat down the line.

As the Big East struggles, though, it's fantastic to see the Missouri Valley Conference steadily rise in quality to the point where, a couple seasons from now, it wouldn't be outrageous to call them a basketball "major." Six teams, including Wichita State, are real threats to become Gonzagas. Props to Butler, too, whose only loss so far is to Indiana State (MVC), who aren't even one of the six teams I'm referring to (Wichita State, Creighton, Northern Iowa, Southern Illinois, Bradley, Missouri State).

Know who is flying under the radar? Arizona Wildcats. I cannot wait for Memphis, this week.

Finally: Man or woman? No one knows!
It is not clear how she failed the test at the Asian Games in Doha.

Phenomenal, that is. Words fail.

A perfect confluence of events

Last Friday: Utah comes back in the final three minutes to hand the Lakers a bitter defeat.

Tuesday: Michael Redd shows up everyone at Staples Center and drops a whopping 45 points as the Bucks escape with a sheepish victory over the Lakers.

Thursday afternoon: ESPN.com runs a front page story about how Kobe has lost a step and won't be the same after the knee injury, ranking only 14th in the league in scoring.

Tough road loss to Utah+Michael Redd stealing the show+ESPN condemnation = last night: 52 points from the Black Mamba in a 30-point route of the once mighty Utah Jazz! Bryant had a perfect 3rd quarter to ensure the victory, going 9-9 from the floor and 10-10 from the foul line for 30 points. MVP chants echoed throughout Staples Center. It was vintage Mamba and an awesome performance by the entire team, although there was virtually zero production once again from the 5-spot. I realize that when you're hitting 60% from the floor and 47% from 3s and Mamba is being Mamba, it isn't as big a deal. But Kwame (starting) was 0-2, Bynum (in just 13:44) 1-3. Hmm...

The Jazz, conversely, looked slow, tired, beat down. The NBA's best record now has dropped three of four and last night they looked rather pedestrian. Bonus points to Marv Albert who kept calling my sworn enemy Deron Williams, "Aaron Williams." That was amusing.

On the ice, things are terrible for LA. The Kings got bombed 7-4 by the perhaps the only team in the league who could claim to be worse than them. I quickly called my dad to "brag" to him about how my team was worse than his. Curtis Joseph actually looked DRUNK out there in goal for Phoenix and yet we still got pasted. Dan Cloutier lasted all of ten seconds. Three goals allowed on five shots. I'll say it again: Dan Cloutier is a joke of a goaltender. The guy is simply garbage. I want a trade! Anybody! Does anybody have some beans? If I hang a cowbell around his neck, you give me some magic beans in exchange. No competent goalies, no draft picks, I want magic freaking pinto beans in return for Cloutier. I'd feel almost dishonest pawning him off on some other shlub team.

"It's on tonight"

Those are the words of the Black Mamba. There's a fun, brief video clip of him getting his knee wrapped in ice and everything. How pleasant. Things to look for in tonight's game against the Sonics...

1. Mamba's return (obviously). But the question is, will it alter the otherwise excellent chemistry shown by the Lakers in the first two games?

2. Mamba vs Ray Allen. Always a treat.

3. If the season ended after two games, Lamar Odom would have to be the heavy favorite for MVP. But it doesn't, so he isn't. However, Odom has been brilliant in Mamba's absence. Last season, he had a niggling penchant for settling into the background at times. One might think that Mamba's return tonight would reignite this bad habit. I don't think it will. Not this year. Odom is on a mission of redemption and rededication. Look for another inspired game out of him.

4. Who will Seattle start at center? Robert Swift is out for the year with a torn ACL and Mouhamed Sene was nothing short of comical against Portland on Wednesday. Sene is Project Central. Me? I'm hoping he starts again, though the coaching staff will probably think better of their previous mistake and go with Johan Petro. In either case, hopefully Andrew Bynum has recovered from the slight sprain that hampered him on Wednesday at Golden State.

5. Seattle has Allen and Rashard Lewis, sure, but we've got Kobe and Lamar. This game will be won at the 4-spot. Chris Wilcox and Danny Fortson represent a tough challenge on the blocks and Ronny Turiaf may be the only healthy Laker able to match them for intensity on the boards.

6. Jordan Farmar continues to snip minutes from Smush Parker. This is a very good thing. If Farmar isn't starting alongside Mamba by New Year's, it'll be because he's injured. No other possible explanation would be acceptable.

7. Nothing to do with the game, per se, but I have to say, the "Lights Out" promotion used on opening night was really cool. So cool, that it will continue all season long at Staples. There's something totally awesome about killing the houselights and having the court be the only thing lit in the whole arena. Before you say different, just know, I'm not wrong about that.