Barely even a slap on the wrist

If I'm Bill Beli-cheat, I'd consider myself very lucky, this morning. Let off the hook with merely a fine and the loss of one late first-round draft pick? I'm sorry, but for this offense, the given punishment doesn't even rate a slap on the wrist. More like a raised eye-brow and a shrug of the shoulders. Really? No suspension at all? I'm sure Tim Donaghy wishes he was an NFL official instead.

Few cheats are bigger than Beli-cheat (who claims to have misinterpreted the most black and white rule in the book), but O.J. is one of them. "No, listen, Officer, I swear I only needed that sports memorabilia so that I could lure the 'real killer' to a big autograph signing. It's my plan for justice, see?"

The loss of Greg Oden for the season doesn't just affect Portland (though they never had a prayer of going to the playoffs, this season, anyway), it affects the entire league. Profoundly. Personally, I've already lost steam with the Kevin Durant train and, frankly, half the fun of watching Durant, this coming season, was going to be comparing his progress to Oden's. The NBA just lost a major star and for a league that just endured it's lowest rated Finals since they ceased airing on tape delay, this is devastating. The weapons for sparking fan interest continue to diminish.

I'm not saying that playing in Nebraska isn't tough, but I don't think USC will have a problem covering the 10-point spread. I'm thinking 30-13 in favor of the Trojans. Arizona, on the other hand, is playing at home against a lousy New Mexico team and they will have trouble covering the spread. Willie Tuitama, you fill my heart with worry and doubt. Hanging 45 on NAU doesn't prove anything. Arizona 20 New Mexico 14.

If Michigan wins, this Saturday, it'll be business as usual. If Notre Dame wins this Saturday, Lloyd Carr will be executed on the field. Most likely by "Crazy Eyes" Mike Hart. I see the Wolverines at least surviving this one, though. As bad as their D is, Notre Dame's offense may be worse. Michigan 25 Notre Dame 17.

For so early in the season, there seem to be a ton of "locks" this Sunday. Cincy, Indy, Pittsburgh, New Orleans, Seattle, Jacksonville, Carolina, Dallas, Denver, and Chicago are all sure bets to win. All will cover, too, except for the Jaguars who still have an awful lot of explaining to do, after last week, and have an unreasonably big line of -11 (as of, right now).

Having dodged the bullet of any real repercussions from video-tape gate, the New England Tim Donaghys knock off a Chargers team that's flying across the country after getting physically beat-up by the Bears. It'll be close, but that Donaghy offense looks too impressive. Also, it's Norv Turner playing in a big game. 'Nuff said. Donaghys 27 Chargers 23.

Today, the Springboks will avenge their disaster against England in 2003 by mashing them in their Group A contest at the Rugby World Cup. The victory will all but guarantee the Boks a top seed in the quarterfinal round when, praise be, Schalk Burger will be back from his unjust suspension. South Africa are looking a good bet for at least the semis at this year's RWC.

CHEATERS!

This is pretty much a straight cut and paste job from a message board I just posted on, but for posterity's sake, I'll slap it here, too. Of course, the topic of the day is how underhanded and shameful the Patriots are.

It's actually a pretty big offense. Video-taping the opposition's defensive signals, reviewing the cameras and photographs related to those signals after each play (which all teams can do, except for the part where they've stolen signals), then memorizing those signals to get a leg up and know what the opposition is doing at all times. Really, it is no different than if Tim Donaghy was on the Jets' sideline. I really don't see any difference at all. There's actually a written NFL rule against such a thing. The Patriots are expected to be docked draft picks, which is fine, but I really think Belichick should be suspended for at least one game, as well as fined, if only because there needs to be some sort of immediate penalty against Belichick & Co. Especially since we already know that the Patriots are a crafty enough organization that they'll be able to reacquire draft picks from some sucker team for practically nothing. Or why not perhaps take away the Pats' cameras altogether for a game and see how they deal with that? Imagine trying to make adjustments on both sides of the ball against the freaking Chargers, of all teams, with no camera? It'd be a hopeless effort.

The integrity of competition is thrown into disrepute with this indiscretion. That's bad. Very bad. I wonder how much denial Bill Simmons is mired in.

The weekend's heroes and doinks

Heroes
Dirk Kuyt - Liverpool looked flat and uninspired on Saturday versus Reading, but two well-poached goals by the flying Dutchman ensured that while that game was a bore, the outcome would never be in doubt. Also, he single-handedly validated my waking up at 7a.m. (on a Saturday!) just to watch the match live. But more than just the scoring, Kuyt also looked like our best defender on Saturday -- a feat, considering Carragher and Finnan are on the backline. An inspiring performance from an otherwise drab match. Liverpool is on a roll with a pivotal clash at Arsenal coming up this Sunday.

Mike Stoops - UofA's football season is virtually lost, but the tradition of the annual upset in Tucson is still alive. Last year, it was UCLA that got blitzed by the WIldcats. This season, Arizona surprises Washington State in Pullman. I don't know if you've heard, but Arizona doesn't win on the road. Oregon and Cal to come (both of which will probably be Ls), but a season-ending win over Arizona State is well within reach and would extend Stoops' stay for at least one more season.

Borat - Is nice!

Doinks
Rex Grossman - I've been saying it for weeks, now, but no one's been listening. Not at the start of the season, not after the Cardinals game. Well maybe now people will stop and take notice. The Bears are very beatable and it is thanks, primarily to Grossman. For as "efficient" as this offense has looked against the Lions and the 49ers and the Bills, Grossman is, in no uncertain terms, a liability.
Next week, he faces a stiff Giants D. Tell me, who do you prefer in a Grossman v Eli matchup? The latter isn't quite what his brother is, but the choice is obvious.

Bill Belichick - I don't know what planet he's been living on for the last few weeks, but seemingly everyone who watches football knows implicitly that the way to beat the Colts is by running the ball down their throats repeatedly. Indy has a soft front seven and the Pats were, in fact, having their way with them on the ground. 148 yards rushing. Problem is, Maroney, Dillon, and Faulk only had 30 carries combined! That's outrageous! Run the ball more and Brady probably doesn't wind up throwing an uncharacteristic four INTs. Terrible game plan.

Michael Vick - Loss at Detroit did little to dispell the talk that he can't be a great NFL quarterback. Furthermore, Atlanta still look like pretenders.

Dallas Cowboys - Sorry, but you're not a playoff team if things like this happen to you. Even before the Washington disaster, I couldn't imagine Dallas getting more than eight wins this season.