Shut up, cock

It's not everyday you get to say that and not get called on it. What? That use is strictly professional. See?

Personally, I think the SEC is coming a little hard on the cock. If South Carolina wants their cock to blow -- err, crow on third downs, let 'em. Theoretically, the crowd noise at Williams-Brice Stadium would be cheering loudly against the opposition, anyway. Where's the homefield advantage? You can bet that Spurrier is looking for a way to get the crow back into game-play. Anything for an edge, right Steve?

Cock crow or not, South Carolina is likely going down on Saturday anyway when Arkansas comes calling. But the big college football game this week (and I do mean "the" because the slate is pretty bland this go around -- don't even bother bringing up LSU v Tennessee) isn't happening on Saturday. It's actually in progress, this very moment. West Virginia has just gone ahead of Louisville 7-3 in the first quarter. All on eyes on the Big (L)East tonight, which is definitely a change of pace, but you can't help but wonder if people still remember that Rutgers is in this conference. Stranger yet, if the Scarlet Knights knock off both WV and L'ville (and assuming they win their other games too), then they actually have a claim to the national title game! RUTGERS!

I can't decide which scenario I'd rather see play out...
A) Rutgers beats the winner of tonight's game, but loses to the loser, leaving all three teams with one loss. The nation would be left with a never-ending stream of 1-loss teams and chaos would ensue when the time comes to pick who plays the Big Ten champ for the national title.

OR

B) Rutgers runs the table, leaving themselves and the winner of Ohio St./Michigan as the only two unbeatens (let's face it, Boise State will get screwed every time because they don't play in a "major" conference). That would, after all, leave Rutgers as the champions of a "major" conference (though only in name or unless we're talking about basketball) and undefeated. Couldn't argue with that, could you Florida? Or Cal? Or Texas? Or Auburn? Or anyone else. Well, actually, you could. There's a lot to be said for strength of schedule, as glorious college hoops can attest.

In either case, the B(C)S will be called into question yet again if either of these scenarios plays out. Which is what I want. Less so, than if WV or the Cardinals run the table -- those two carry the slightest bit more pull. Louisville actually made an effort to schedule Miami. Too bad for them that the Canes are lousy this season. Back on topic, I'm a firm believer in playoffs. "But playoffs would cheapen the regular season," says college football purist. To that, I respond, "How is it not cheapened already? It's been decided, nationally, that there's only one game out of all the 540 bowl games that matters. The least we can do is remove any doubt or speculation when deciding which two teams get to compete. I mean, it's not like every other sport in the world employs that method or anything!"

Anyway, go Arizona. We don't have a fart's chance at a bowl game -- even if it is the ever-so prestigious Insight.com Bowl -- but a strong finish and a W over Arizona State would be a nice consolation, all things being relative.

Do you know the Malkin Man?

Why yes, I know the Malkin Man that lives on Pittsburgh Lane. People, the NHL has stumbled upon something exciting: a new set of faces to carry the league. Last season marked the rookie years of Ovechkin and Crosby. Both lived up to expectation (I had the pleasure of seeing Ovechkin in person when Washington came to visit Los Angeles last year. That guy is the real deal). And now, as if the NHL gods just knew that Gary Bettman & co. would find a way to horribly botch the marketing of their new superstars, another 20-year-old phenom falls into his lap: Evgeni Malkin. Some people are calling him the best player in the world, right now. Are they wrong? Maybe. There is a guy in the league by the name of Joe Thornton and Jaromir Jagr, while getting up there in age, probably still has something to say on the matter. But not many can argue with this.

Last night may have been the prime example of why I so desperately need a TiVo (no need to remind me that I live in the dark ages), as flipping between the Kings and Lakers (another strong victory for the Purple and Gold without the Mamba -- even if it was only Golden State... Odom looked terrific again) games was a trick in itself (then Lost came on). But I did see all the Penguins goals, including Malkin's OT winner (his second). I gotta tell you, Pittsburgh is the luckiest franchise in the world, right now. All those years of being terrible after Super Mario's revival led to a stockpiling of excellent draft picks. The Malkin/Crosby combo sees the ice as crisply as any duo in the league. It's no wonder that Malkin just tied a record for goal-scoring streak to start a career (he's six for six, people). I mean, if Gretzky, Lemiuex, Messier, Hull, Yzerman was last generation's NHL scoring vanguard, this generation's list must have Malkin and Crosby at the top along with Thornton, Ovechkin, Kovalchuk, and Iginla. There's not a luckier franchise in all of sports, right now, than the Pittsburgh Penguins who were this close to expiring. Add Marc-Andre Fleury into the mix as the stud goaltender and former #1 overall pick who is finally coming into his own and it's no wonder that the Pens are tearing it up, right now. Six-games on the trot, as we speak. Their achilles, however, remains defense. Nab a couple of bruisers and watch out, the Penguins are back in a big way.

Pity that with the new NHL's scheduling, the Penguins won't be back in Los Angeles for another three years. That's a shame. Staples Center was sold out last night, just as it should've been. The Kings, for their trouble, at least earned a point out of last night's game, though the full points were there for the taking. Dan Cloutier is not the answer in goal.