Draft lottery madness!

Tonight's NBA Draft Lottery was shock galore.

1. Portland
2. Seattle
3. Atlanta
4. Memphis
5. Boston

Wow. Bill Simmons just had a coronary. And my buddy Brent (that's me doing my best Bill Simmons impersonation, although I should probably give Brent some ridiculous nickname like "Tub"), the most die-hard Phoenix Suns fan ever, is crying in his milk, right now. Obviously, Portland and Seattle are the huge winners of the Oden-Durant sweepstakes (duh!), while Memphis and Boston, owners of the two worst records in the league, are terrible losers (duh, again!). The Celtics brought this on themselves, though, as no cosmic universe worth it's salt would allow a team that just re-upped Doc Rivers to have a chance at Oden/Durant. Memphis? Forget 'em. Everyone else has (POW! I'll be here all the week, folks. Try the veal and tip your waitress).

Phoenix could've used that lottery pick in the hopes of making a play for Kevin Garnett. Guess the time has arrived for them to parlay their other two first-round picks and either Marion of Amare and probably their 1st rounder in '08 for that final piece to put them over. Question is: will that offer be better than what Chicago or the Lakers can come up with? Steve Nash had better hope so. The clock is ticking. And, honestly, I don't see the Suns parting with Amare.

And how scary did the Western Conference just become? Already light years better than the East, Portland and Seattle just stepped up as potential playoff teams for next season. That brings the total of Western Conference teams playing out the season down to three (Memphis, Minny, and Sacto). I just have to say it: relegation would be such a sweet play for the NBA. Stack all thirty teams in one table, have the top 20 in division one and the bottom 10 in division two. Switch out the bottom four from division one for the top four from division two every season, while the top 16 from D1 advance to the playoffs. Then we'll see some fairness for these Western Conference teams. No more of these 39-win teams making the playoffs. Not in my NBA.

Alas, my utopian NBA is but a pipe-dream. But at least I can dream.

Oh wait, did I mention that Isiah Thomas is the biggest idiot the league has seen in ages? I guess that goes without saying, huh? I know the Bulls are a fan.